FRIENDLY VISITS

by Matthew Henry
(Continued from page 277)

Nay, even from what we hear and see, which is foolish and blame-worthy, we may learn that which will be profitable to us. Solomon received instruction, even from the field of the slothful, and the vineyard of the man void of understanding. What we observe indecent in other, we must learn to avoid; and take warning by others’ harm. Thus out of the eater may come forth meat, and out of the strong sweetness.

But it is now time to conclude, with a word or two of exhortation, upon the whole matter.

1. Let us all remember our faults this day, and be humbled before God for the guilt we have contracted by our mismanaged visits of our friends. In our common conversation, as well as in our common business, it is hard to keep ourselves unspotted. Think, how much time we have lost in needless and unprofitable visits, which might have been better bestowed, and cannot now be recalled! What mean and low ends we have proposed to ourselves in making our visits, and how we have in them walked after the course of a vain and foolish world, and not after the conduct of the law of the spirit of life in Christ Jesus. Are we not carnal, and do we not walk as men? as the Apostle speaks (I Cor. iii: 3) far short of the spirit of Christianity, that high and holy calling wherewith we are called.

Think, how little good we have done in the visits we have made and received! How few have been the better for us: it is well if many have not been the worse for us, and for our corrupt communication. When the company has fallen into vain discourse, that foolish talking and jesting which the word of God expressly condemns (Eph. v: 4) have we not been as forward as any to promote it and keep it up, and showed ourselves well pleased with it? Have we not provoked one another’s lusts and passions, instead of provoking one another to love and good works? Have we not given offence, and put an occasion of stumbling in our brother’s way, by taking too great a liberty of speech in our conversation with our friends, encouraging the hearts of the licentious in their looseness, and grieving the hearts of those who are serious themselves, and expect we should be so too? Let us for these things judge ourselves this day, that we may not be judged of the Lord.

1. Let us be so wise as to chuse those for our intimate friends, who will concur with us in a serious endeavour to get this matter mended. For the truth is, in this as in a trade, we have the making but of one side of the bargain; we can do but little toward the rectifying of what is ordinarily amiss in conversation, and the improving of it to some good purposes, unless those we converse with will do their part: those therefore we should desire to associate ourselves with, who will edify us and be edified by us, whom we may either do good to, or get good by, or both.

It is our wisdom to avoid that company which we find corrupts our minds, and makes them vain, and indisposes them for serious exercises: what good there is in us is apt enough to dwindle and decay of itself, we need not the help of others to quench it. Therefore take Solomon’s counsel, Go from the presence of a foolish man, when thou perceivest not in him the lips of knowledge (Prov. xiv: 7).

But since the communion of saints is intended to be the furtherance of our holiness and comfort, and the earnest of our future bliss, and we are taught by the pattern of that truly primitive Church (Acts ii: 42) to continue steadfast, not only in the Apostle’s doctrine, but in fellowship, let us acquaint ourselves with some who appear to be serious Christians, without distinction of parties, and converse with them; let such only be our bosom-friends: and let us say to them, as the neighbour nations did to God’s Israel (Zech. viii: 23) We will go with you, for we have heard that God is with you. Let God’s People be our People, and David’s resolution ours (Ps. cxix: 63). I am a companion of all them that fear thee, and of them that keep thy precepts.

1. Let us all resolve, by the grace of God, to look well to ourselves, and to the frame of our own spirits, in giving and receiving visits. If we cannot reform the world, yet I hope we may reform our own hearts and lives, and every man prove his own work, so shall ye have rejoicing in himself alone, although perhaps not in another; so shall his praise be of God, though perhaps not of men.

Christians, I am not persuading you to anything that is rude or morose; or looks like an affectation of singularity: nor am I declaiming against the innocent diversions and entertainments of conversation, which make it pleasant to yourselves and your friends, and are a relief to the fatigue of business: but I am only to remind you that you be very careful not to lose your religion in them. Remember that you are Christians, and you must speak and act in everything as becomes saints (Eph. v: 3). Remember that you are hastening into eternity, the days of your probation will shortly be numbered and finished; you are therefore concerned to spend your time on earth as those who are candidates, and probationers for heaven, so that you may not seem to come short. Converse with this world of sense, as those who know—You must shortly remove to the world of spirits; and let this thought give a check to everything that is vain and frothy, and put you upon considering, seeing you look for such things, What manner of persons you ought to be in all holy conversation and godliness (II Pet. iii: 11).
(To be continued)