Sin and Grace

John Bunyan

David says he opened his mouth and panted, for he longed for God’s commandments. This was his sickness. The spouse also cried out that she was “sick of love” (Song 2:5). Such sickness would do us good, for in it the pulse beats strongly and well.

Objection. But it may be objected, I am yet in doubt of the goodness of my desires; both because my desires run both ways, and because those desires that run toward sin and the world seem more and stronger than those that run after God and Christ and grace.

Answer. There is not a Christian under heaven but has desires that run both ways. Flesh will be flesh, grace shall not make it otherwise. By flesh I mean that body of sin and death that dwells in the godly. As grace will act according to its nature, so sin will act according to the nature of sin. Now the flesh has desires, and the desires of the flesh and of the mind are both one in the ungodly; thank God it is not so in you.

The flesh, I say, has its desires in the godly; hence it is said to lust enviously; it lusts against the Spirit: “The flesh lusteth against the Spirit”. And if it is so audacious as to fly in the face of the Holy Ghost, you should wonder that you are not wholly carried away with it.

Objection. But those desires that run into the world and sin seem most and strongest in me.

Answer. The works of the flesh are manifest; that is, more plainly discovered, even in the godly, than are the works of the Holy Ghost. And this their manifestation arises from these following particulars:

1. We know the least appearance of a sin better by its natural hue than we know the grace of the Spirit.

2. Sin is sooner felt in its bitterness to and upon a sanctified soul than is the grace of God. A little aloes will be sooner tasted than will much that is sweet, though mixed with it.

3. Sin is dreadful and murderous in the sight of a sanctified soul; wherefore noticing it makes us often forget, and even question, whether we have any grace or not.

4. Grace lies deep in the hidden part, but sin lies high and floats about in the flesh; wherefore it is often more easily seen than the grace of God. The little fish swim on the top of the water, but the biggest and best keep down below and so are more seldom seen.

¹An edited extract from Bunyan’s The Desire of the Righteous Granted.

1. Grace, as to quantity, seems less than sin. What is leaven or a grain of mustard seed to the bulky lump of the body of death?

2. Sin is seen by its own darkness and also in the light of the Spirit; but the Spirit itself neither reveals itself, nor yet its graces, by every glance of its own light.

3. A man may have the Spirit busy at work in him; he may also have many of his graces in their vigorous acts, and yet may be greatly ignorant of either. Wherefore we are not competent judges in this case. A thousand acts of grace may pass through your soul and yet you may be conscious of few, if any, of them.

4. Do you think that he who repents, believes, loves, fears or humbles himself before God, and acts in other graces too, does always know what he does? No, no. Grace many times, even in a man, is acted by him unawares to him. Did Gideon, think you, believe that he was so strong in grace as he was? No, was he not ready to think that the angel lied when he told him that God was with him? Or what do you think of David, when he said he was cast off from God’s eyes? Or of Heman when he said he was free among them whom God remembered no more? Do these then see their graces so clear as they saw themselves by their sins to be unworthy?

5. I tell you it is a rare thing for some Christians to see their graces, but a very common thing for them to see their sins; yes, and to feel them too in their lusts and desires, to the shaking of their souls.

Question. But since I have lusts and desires both ways, how shall I know to which my soul adheres?

Answer. This may be known thus:

1. Which would you have to prevail, the desires of the flesh or those of the Spirit? Whose side are you on? Does your soul not now inwardly say, and with strong indignation against sin, O let God, let grace, let my desires that are good prevail against the flesh, for Jesus Christ’s sake?

2. What kind of secret wishes have you in your soul when you feel the lusts of your flesh to rage? Do you not inwardly, and with indignation, again say, O that I might never, never feel one more such inclination! Or that my soul would be so full of grace that there might be no longer room for even the least lust to come into my thoughts!

3. What kind of thoughts do you have of yourself, now you see that these desires of yours that are good are so briskly opposed by those that are bad? Do you not say, O I am the basest of creatures; I could even spue at myself? There is no man in all the world, in my eyes, so loathsome as I am. I abhor myself; a toad is not so vile as I am. O Lord, let me be anything but a sinner – anything, if Thou wilt subdue my iniquities for me.

4. How do you like the discovery of what you think is grace in other men? Do you not cry out, O I bless them in my heart! O methinks grace is the greatest beauty in the world! Yes, I could be content to live and die with those people that have the grace of God in their souls. A hundred times, and a hundred more, when I have been on my knees before God, I have desired, if it was the will of God, that I may be in their condition.

5. How are you when you think that you yourself have grace? O then, says the soul, I am as if I could leap out of myself. Joy, joy, joy then is with my heart. It is, methinks, the greatest mercy under heaven to be made a gracious man.

And is it thus with your soul? Happy man! It is grace that has your soul, though sin at present works in your flesh; yes, all these breathings are the very actings of grace, even of the grace of desire, of love, of humility, and of the fear of God within you. Be of good courage, you are on the right side. Your desires are only good, for you have desired that against your sin, your sinful self, which indeed is not yourself but sin that dwells in you.