THE RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE OF A SCHOOLMISTRESS OF THE
SEVENTEENTH CENTURY.
(Written with her own Hand.)
(Continued from page 187.)
NOTES IN AUGUST, 1680.
I AM now thoroughly convinced (though never before) that we must not resist this enemy by force, and that it is not them we have to do with, but God; and, therefore, ’tis with Him we ought first to make our peace. I was ever of this mind, but the Lord hath now more fully convinced me than formerly from that place—2 Kings xxiv. 20—“Through the anger of the Lord it came to pass in Jerusalem and Judah, until he had cast them out from his presence, that Zedekiah rebelled against the king of Babylon.” Now, let this people’s case and ours be compared, and we will find them agree in several respects; for the Lord had determined and warned them that, because of their iniquity, they should go into captivity, which they believed not, and would receive no advice from Jeremiah at the mouth of the Lord. And, for mitigating their trouble, they called him a complier, and said he had fallen to the Chaldeans; and so came of it, they that took warning fared best. Now, as to us (1) I have observed all along, when the enemy’s hand had been most against us, the Lord’s own hand in some particular or other hath also appeared against us, importing our aptness to eye instruments more than Himself, and that He would have us know that it is with Him we have to do, and that He is walking contrary to us as we have walked contrary to Him. (2) I have ever seen remarkable evidences of the Lord’s displeasure against any attempt of that kind we have essayed. And why? Because the determined time of our deliverance is not yet come, for we have not humbled ourselves for our iniquity against a holy God, whom we had avouched to be our God, but walked not in His ways. Indeed, there must be other kind of work about this great business ere we can expect that any means we can use for our deliverance can be blessed of God.
SOME DEVICES OF SATAN, WHEREBY HE HATH GOT GREAT ADVANTAGE.
- Places of Scripture, which he tempted some to abuse for the covering of their sinful practices; others he tempted to cast at as if they were of no use. 2. For failings in persons, whether seeming or real, all their good is rendered useless by the reproaches of the greatest pretenders to straightness. 3. Satan makes use of those who seem to be most zealous for the external privileges of Christ’s
kingdom to destroy His internal kingdom in the Church, by suffering themselves to be divided one from another, and so put out of capacity of building up one another in their most holy faith, or to the edifying of the body in love, contrary to the old and new command and to Christ’s prayer, that they may be perfected in one, and so rendering useless the only means left us for help, viz., prayer. “If thou bring thy gift to the altar, and remember . . . leave thy gift before the altar, and first be reconciled to thy brother, and then offer thy gift,” importing clearly that there is no acceptance of prayer till reconciliation be made with our brother. 4. Whereas in a time like this (wherein Satan is getting such advantage) we ought to be spending our time in finding out his devices; we, on the contrary, give him more and more advantage, and that many ways. Those who make not conscience of finding out and counteracting the devices of Satan will be reckoned co-workers with him for the overturning the kingdom of Christ, though in most secret ways. And if we be secret underminers of Christ’s kingdom, though we be not public opposers, we are enemies to Him. Satan hath hitherto appeared in his own colours, so, for the most part, there hath been no great difficulty to discover him. It is like he may come out in other colours, if he be not come already, and then it will be more difficult to discern him. But they that seek the Lord understand all things. I must set down the words of one of extraordinary skill in the sleights of Satan. Saith he, “The highest measures of holiness for the most glorious ends, if not warranted from the Word, is the most sordid superstition.”
One of the greatest devices of Satan at this day is the irritating of the mind, having many advantages this way by the manifold troubles of this time, and so he keeps the heart unhumbled, and in this opposes the Lord, who, by all His providences, seeks our humiliation. And as the humble and quiet accepting the punishment of our iniquity would tend to His glory, so to our good and profit many advantages accompany such a frame. Question—What are these advantages? Answer—1. A quiet and humble heart is in case to listen to what the Lord is speaking in His providences, and, therefore (Psalm xxv. 9), “The meek will he guide in judgment, and the meek he will teach his way.” 2. They are under many precious promises, as (1) guiding them; (2) teaching them; (3) increase of grace (James iv. 6), “He gives grace to the humble; (4) the Lord’s presence for their reviving (Isaiah lvii. 15). 3. A humble soul is in case to bear any affliction; (Lam. iii. 19), “Wherefore doth a living man complain?” etc. And one faith, “Hell is not hell to a truly humbled heart.” Be but humble, and all your uncertain fits of trouble and sorrow are now ended, and all your sad days are ended, and there is nothing man’s cross but his will, which contradicts the will of God. But, when the heart is truly subjected to the will of God, it cannot be troubled whatever may
befal the person, because nothing can come to pass but by the will and determination of God. 4. A humble person hath the promise of exaltation, lifting up, and safety, and, if any be hid in an evil day, it will be such an one. Again, a humble person is of most use to others, they judging themselves debtors to all, having received so freely; as the Apostle saith, “I am a debtor,” etc. Again, one that is humble leaves a continual conviction on others who are not so if there be any discerning. Again, ’tis lovely and attractive to a gracious heart, it being the image of Christ. “I am meek and lowly,” saith He. Again, They are in the greatest security against falling either in principle or practice, they having so little confidence in themselves.
We are, in an evil time, bidden seek meekness, righteousness, and the Lord, etc. Now, pride mars us in all these; and the Lord requiring it both for our spiritual and temporal good, Satan and corruption mainly oppose it where self-denial is not in exercise, by making us notice slight and conceived injuries, keeping the heart in irritation, and so in contention; and then follow the works of the flesh—anger, wrath, etc. Then the Lord is openly dishonoured. ‘Tis an undervaluing of the glory that is to be revealed at the coming of Christ to be much moved at any calamity that can befal us in this world.
A SPEECH OF THE FORESAID PERSON, BEING UNDER A PARDONED CONDITION.
Come, my friends, I’ll tell you what the Lord hath done for me. He hath blotted out my iniquities, He hath loved me freely. O! He is altogether lovely, He is infinite love, and in Him is a fountain of love. O fy, fy upon you, ye worldly-minded creatures, whose minds are upon the earth, that think Christ a hard-handed master. Believe it not, for the Lord’s sake believe it not, for it is not so; but this I will entreat you to do, my dear friends, try before you trust; come and taste of Him before ye harbour evil thoughts of Him, and when you have tasted, then come and tell me your thoughts of Him. This I will seal with my blood: If He beguile you, believe me, ye are the first that ever He beguiled. I may say by experience, He has not beguiled me.
I will tell you what He did to me. When I sought after my lovers, He blasted them all to me; I saw they were all empty. And when I had gone to thousands of idols, He blasted them all to me, and showed me fulness only in Himself. O blessed and adored be He, that was content to take me when I was the off-scouring and refuse of all my idols! He said to me, “When thou hast tried all the things a discontented heart can show thee, thou shalt find them but emptiness without Me”; “for,” said He, ‘It, pleased the Father that in Me should all fulness dwell. I will give you all that your heart can desire. Your lovers and your idols may seem to give you contentment in one thing, but not in
all. But, if you take Me and quit them, it shall not, it cannot enter into the heart of man to conceive what I have laid up for you. O lost daughter of Adam, what can thy heart desire, thy ear hear, or thy eye see, but I can give you it?” And all this time when He was crying a treaty of peace, I was hearing Him. “Well,” said I, “if He be such an one as He is reported to be, I will go and try.” So I went and desired (because He blasted all earthly things) that He would let me see what was in Himself. Then said my kind Lord, it is not best that I should see His fulness at the first. Then when I saw that He was unkind, and that He was not like to keep His promise, I said, “I will away after my idols again, for, said my wicked and discontented heart, there is not such a fulness in Him as I apprehended.” And with all this He was but trying me to see what I would do. Then when He saw me going away, He hedged my way with thorns, and my paths, so that I could not win out. Then He said, “‘Tis best that my child be cast into the fiery furnace.” And when I was like to faint, being unacquainted with His wiser dealings, He took a cordial and put it in my mouth. And when He saw that that would not do my turn, then He said, “I will let her a-bee [alone] now.” So He took me out, and said, “What think ye of the furnace now?” Then said I, “Lord, I do not like it well.” He said, “My child, thou shalt find much sweetness in it.” So I may say, He kept His promise to me, for I have found many a precious day in the furnace. I tell you it is sweet.
My friends, for the Lord’s sake, weary not of the sweet yoke of Christ. I’ll tell you, my friends, I have had experience of a sinning life, but, if I were to set down a life to myself, I would choose the cross; yea, I would take the sweet cross of Christ before any life. But ye will not think it sweet and easy till ye carry it a while, and then (believe me) ye will say with me, “Blessed be the rod, and ten thousand times blessed be He that sent it.” I’ll tell you what it hath done to me. This day I have not an idol, no, not one, nor the least thought going after one; the sweetness of Christ hath done that. O think not His cross wearisome to bear. O for a large heart, to get much love contained in it to Him! Alas! alas for a narrow heart that hath not deep thoughts of His infinite love! O that I had a heart that would hold as much love as there are drops of water in the sea! O it would be over little! O that all the hearts of the world were mine! I would give them all to hold love to Christ. Yea, though I had them all, they would not hold one drop of His love, for He is infinite love, altogether lovely. I’ll tell you from experience, for I have felt His love. Think not ill thoughts of Him for the Lord’s sake, for He is all-sufficient. The world is uphelden by Him, and all that is therein. If ye have any other thoughts of all-sufficient Jesus, put them away soon, for, believe me, you will deceive yourselves. Turn in time, turn in time, O my friends; let your thoughts run in another channel. Think Him infinitely all-sufficient, think Him infinite love. Will ye
believe experience? I know He is more than I think upon, but I know that He is this, and that I would seal with my blood; and for His sake I am bound to lay down my life, and I have good reason so to do, for He hath changed my heart from idols, and He hath made me to say from experience, “What have I to do with idols any more?” And now, I bless the Lord, I have not an idol in my heart, but only an all-sufficient treasure in lovely Christ, and good reason. Why should it not be so? Why will not every creature do the like? for He is well worth the having the pre-eminence in all things both in heaven and earth; for “it hath pleased the Father that in him should all fulness dwell.” I love all other things in their own room, but I love Christ above them all. Believe me, it is truth, I count all things but loss and dung for His favour; He hath all my heart. Wherefore should I ware my money upon that which is not bread? No, no, it shall not be so; He shall have my heart. All ye that love idols, cast them away; take the rich jewel of the Gospel, and let them all go. I have done so; I have taken up the cross, and will carry it so long as I live.
I know when Christ gets me to heaven He may say, “I have a little-worth pennyworth, and very dear bought,” for He gave His life for me, and He hath taken much pains on me, and yet I am little worth, for I have not a large heart to love Him. Though it be said in the Word, “To whom much is given, love much,” and He hath forgiven me much, yet I cannot get Him loved enough. But yet I may say, “Though I cannot get Him loved as I desire, yet I love Him with all the little heart I have; I love Him, and it is my exercise to love Him.” Well, my friends, will ye open your mouths and help me to cry up free love and the assurance of free grace? To the infinite riches of free love be it spoken, I know not what it is to have an idol, and to His praise I desire to speak it. But I know what it is to have had them, and I had many a sad day in casting them out. Now, will ye not grant that I have reason to praise Him? And, my friends, will ye not praise Him with me? Well, if ye will not, I’ll tell you wherein all my joy is, namely, That I shall yet praise Him without interruption, and I shall never weary; for there is a rich room and glorious crown laid up for me, and not for me only, but for all them that love our Lord Jesus. Now, will ye wait for the crown? For He hath promised it, and in Him are all the promises of God fulfilled.
Mrs. Catherine Collace or Ross died 10th July, 1697, about twelve in the forenoon, in the full assurance of faith and joy in the Holy Ghost, taking her leave of all pleasantly, saying, she was going to the Lamb upon Mount Zion and to the glorious company there, desiring us to rejoice with her, for the day of her redemption drew near.
She was a schoolmistress, and taught sewing. A great many scholars were converted at her school. She was tried with many afflictions; particularly, she had twelve children, who, all for her trial (she being very fond of them), were removed, she getting the
promise for them, That God should be her God, and the God of her seed.
Living in the time of persecution, she made much use of a passage out of Calderwood’s History, viz., the encouragement given by Mr. Forbes and Mr. Welch to the ‘ministers at Court to bear witness to Christ’s glorious and free monarchy, “Which, as it is the end of the other two, so it is the most glorious of His offices. The testimony is more glorious to God, more honourable to His Son, and shall be more comfortable to them than the testimony either for His prophetic or priestly, because His kingly is especially impugned at this time.”
(Concluded.)