“4th July, 1838.
DEAR SIR,—May the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. It is not without a feeling of reluctance that I take it upon me to write to you, knowing my unfitness to do so. Were I sure of glorifying God by it, then I would rejoice; but I am afraid I may only dishonour Him, and darken counsel by words without knowledge. To glorify God is the great end for which we were created; but, alas, how far short do we come of it—at least I. Well may I wonder that He is still sparing me, and has not cut me down as a cumberer of the ground. Justly might He have done so, for never was there a more useless life than mine; and yet the Lord has taken such pains with me, and if I am not deceiving myself, has often favoured me with sweet visits of His love. I think I never had a more refreshing day to my soul than the first Sabbath of May last. I felt then, and still feel, as if it were to be the last Communion Sabbath I shall enjoy on my sick-bed. Oh the boundless love that dwells in the heart of our Emmanuel, and that He should manifest this love to poor unworthy me! But seasons of high enjoyment are feasts which seldom last long, and I find are often followed by severe conflicts. It was not long after the disciples had eaten of the loaves and were filled, that they had to encounter the tempestuous waves of the sea, and it is still the case: when Satan finds he cannot destroy, he does all he can to distract, yet he will be a loser at last. I think it will be the greatest mortification he will have at the last day when he will see the good which souls have derived from his temptations. There is One even now, while we are in the midst of temptations, who has a fellow-feeling, ‘For in that He Himself hath suffered, being tempted, He is able to succour them that are tempted.’ What astonishing love! what amazing condescension! that ‘the Ancient of Days’ should be scourged and buffeted of men, and tempted of the devil, and all for our sakes. ‘God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son.’ Yes, it was love that brought Him to a cross and grave; and to that cross all now in eternity looked forward, and all in eternity to come will look back. ‘Mercy and truth are met together; righteousness and peace have kissed each other.’ Well may we
say, How great is His goodness, and how great is His beauty! Ah, sir, if you but knew the cold-heartedness I feel towards Him who is Love itself, who is ‘the chiefest among ten thousand, and altogether lovely,’ you would pity me, you would even weep for me, I feel such an indifference to spiritual things, and such a want of love. . . . May you, sir, be daily living more and more on the interest of your inheritance, until put in the full possession of it. You will now be visiting the vineyards, seeing if the ‘vine flourish, and the tender grape appear.’ Oh may the Lord reward your work and labour of love, by giving testimony to the word of His grace spoken by you; and may He also reward you for your kind attention to me, one so unworthy of it. I feel the want of your visits much; but oh, what a comfort to know that the Lord is a friend at hand when other friends are in providence called afar off!
I have had another attack of locked jaw, which continued for some days. For the most part of the time I was insensible; but the Lord strengthened me, and made me feel His ‘strength in my weakness.’ For a few weeks my cough was much worse, but since the 1st of June I have felt gradually recovering; yet, though I am partially better, I still find that the disease I have laboured under for so many years will sooner or later terminate in death. But oh to be found in Christ, ‘not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith.’ To what measure of health I may be restored, is not my right to determine. It is easy for the Lord to say to the most inveterate disease, ‘Hitherto shalt thou come, and no further;’ but to penetrate into God’s design, in this respect, would be sinful; it is sufficient to know that my times are in His hands who knows, and will do, what is best. My friends rejoice that I am recovering a little; and surely it ought to draw forth praise from myself for the least alleviation; but ah, the thought of living is often like to overwhelm my spirit, though I know it is very wrong. Were I to desire to live, I think it would be that I might live for Jesus; but to live and bring dishonour upon His holy name, that is what I fear. While I am in this body of sin and death, my evil heart of unbelief is ever leading me to depart from the living God; and the great enemy of souls is ever laying snares for the weak. But shall the clay say to the potter, What doest thou? or shall a feeble worm dictate to Infinite Wisdom? In His hand I lie, and at His disposal I desire to be. Pray for me, sir; and oh plead with the Lord that He would heal ‘the divisions in Reuben, for which there are great searchings of heart;’ and pour out His Spirit, to refresh His weary heritage. Oh for the happy time when all shall know the Lord, when heathen lands shall yield to the Redeemer’s sway, and all nations worship at His cross! Then shall the ‘isles wait for His law.’
I often think, sir, of the high honour to which you have been
called, and will, if spared, soon enter upon, to be ‘an ambassador for Christ.’ To be privileged to proclaim the everlasting love of God to poor perishing sinners, is an honour far higher than if you were to be exalted to an earthly kingdom. Oh may He enable you to deal faithfully with souls, and keep you trusting in Him, that He will be the breaker up of your way, and furnish you with every needful gift of the Holy Ghost. . . .
Pray for me. Oh do not forget me. Pray that I may have the sanctified use of the rod, and that my will may be sunk in God’s. It may be that we shall never meet here again; but oh may we meet on the shores of Emmanuel, to sing the praises of redeeming love! There we shall go no more out. ‘Now the God of peace, that brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant, make you perfect in every good work to do His will, working in you that which is well-pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.’—I am, sir, your most humble servant,
ELIZABETH LINDSAY.”
“29th July, 1838.
MY DEAR FRIEND,—. . . Well, my dear friend, ‘faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God;’ and while He is affording you the privilege of waiting upon Him in His house of prayer, and hearing of the things which concern the King, O may He enable you to treasure up the precious truths in your heart! The Lord is calling now to professors to buckle on their armour; and the time may not be far distant, when you will find use for all you either know or have heard of Christ or His kingly office. Already we hear the roaring of the surge, but let us rejoice that ‘the Lord reigns;’—He is above the billows. May He be keeping you near to Himself, and enable you to glorify Him by a walk and conversation becoming the Gospel. He only is worth living for, all other things are but an empty show; and life is not worth the name if God is not glorified. O that He would come and revive the cause which is His own, and take glory to Himself in this dark and cloudy day, by putting down all party spirit among professing Christians!
You very kindly desire me to let you know how I am with regard to spiritual and temporal things. As to the latter, the Lord is just giving me as much as He sees to be good for me; and concerning the former, He is showering blessings upon me, as He did the manna round about the camp of the children of Israel. How great is my responsibility, and how awful will be my condition if found at the last not to have made a good improvement of them! You have need to pray much for me.
I was glad to hear that the ordinance of the Supper is to be administered among you so very soon. O may the Lord
strengthen His servants for the work, and enable them to deal faithfully with souls, and may it be a time of refreshing from His presence to many of His dear people.
I expect you will favour me with a letter the first opportunity; and send me a portion of the good things which I trust your soul will be getting on the Communion Sabbath. You know, when it was a feast day among the Jews, it was a day ‘of sending portions one to another.’ Grace be with you, and with all them that love our Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity. Amen.—I am, my dear M., yours with sincere respect,
ELIZABETH LINDSAY.”
(To be Continued.)