† A friend has requested us to publish this article, which contains a helpful bit of spiritual experience. It appeared in the Gospel Magazine (London) for February, under the title, “Given not taken,” and is here reprinted, with slight abbreviations.—ED.
‘GOD must have a great many fearing ones in the world, or there never would be so many ‘Fear nots’ in the Scriptures.’ So said a poor trembler in Israel, who yet, unsuspecting, picked up this small crumb of comfort, despite many fears.
The sovereignty of God is signally displayed in His dealings with His people. Some are brought to peace and liberty at an early period of their spiritual existence, while others are left to grope for the wall, as the blind, many years, and go mourning without the light of the Sun. They honestly confess their state, and admit the fact that they have not got beyond a sense of sinnership, which, if the work of the Spirit is the bud of blessing, and however bitter in its beginning, is the pledge of all the sweets that must surely follow. But there are others who have received the truth in the judgment, and to a certain extent, into the heart, but their knowledge is ahead of their experience. These are in bondage, though they talk much of liberty; they have fears, but they will not confess it; and they are fighting with the Light that shows them their darkness. They have no union with the children of God, walking in Gospel liberty, but who are the subjects of all the variations of feeling that accompany a living religion. They denounce changes as legal, and deal with fear as a crime; and this because they are ill-taught, and follow where others lead. Now such (believing them to be the people of God) must not proceed to the end in this state; God will rip up their religion, and show them where they stand: the lofty looks of man must be brought down, and the haughtiness of man must be humbled. Their religion must be weighed in the balance of the sanctuary; they must be shown how much of it is from God, and what measure is from man. They must be brought to such spots, that they shall use up all the faith that is of God, and all that is of man shall be consumed; there shall not be left a “sherd to take fire from the hearth, or to take water withal out of the pit.” And here they learn their lesson experimentally: “Without Me ye can do nothing.”
A case recently witnessed we adduce as proof that God’s poor shall not always be forgotten—that His living ones shall be brought into liberty, however long delayed, and the Scripture fulfilled, which saith, “The heart of the wise teacheth his mouth, and addeth learning to his lips.” A well-educated female, interesting in appearance, and left an orphan at an early age, fell into ill-health through over-exertion as a daily governess. Before long consumptive symptoms appeared, and after some months of struggle with disease, she became a permanent invalid.
Early instructed by a godly father, she was well informed in the leading truths of the Gospel, and, when scarcely out of her teens, she was brought under deep soul-anxiety, which led her to feel the importance of the ways of God. Months and years rolled by, and she got no further than this, an abiding sense of her sinnership. At last, wearied of waiting, and hopeless of relief, she began to dip into the world in some of its “harmless pleasures” as they are called. Her spare time was devoted to dress and worldly associations; and the only link to a profession of religion was attendance at a week-day service in a place well established for Gospel truth. Even this was on the eve of being renounced when sickness laid her low, which for four years, more or less, tried her. By a slender thread of circumstances, not necessary to name, she was brought under the notice of a friend who had slightly known her in former days. Unable to rise from her sofa, and breathing with some difficulty, she yet expressed great pleasure at seeing one whom she believed to be a Christian. On being asked where she stood as to soul-concerns, she exclaimed—
“‘Tis a point I long to know,
Oft it causes anxious thought,
Do I love the Lord, or no?
Am I His, or am I not?”
“Those who seek shall find,” the friend answered. “No,” she said, despondingly, “I don’t seek rightly, or I should have found long ago.” “There is a set time to favour Zion, and you cannot hurry that,” it was observed. “But that don’t apply to my case,” she said; “I have waited so long, and am now near my end; besides, I have been a rebellious creature—gone back into the world.” “That may be all true, and much more, but have you been brought out of it?” “My illness has separated me from the world,” she replied, “and I only care now to see the people of God.” “That looks well, so far as it goes. Now, what of the people who come to see you?” “Well,” she said, hesitatingly, “they don’t comfort me, though they are very kind, and mean it; they tell me I dishonour God by not taking Him at His word, that I ought to believe; that the Gospel is full of invitations for sinners to come to Jesus, and that I am only increasing my own condemnation by giving place to doubts and fears. They are very good people, and they seem very happy, and they all speak as though they could do it.” “Then why don’t you, if it is so easy?” “Oh, I wish I could,” said the poor girl, vehemently; “I wish I could; but I can’t; I long, I pray, I groan, I cry, but I get no answer. I have had one text upon my mind for months, and that is the only gleam of comfort I have, ‘I will not suffer my faithfulness to fail.'” “Oh, that is excellent,” said the visitor; “that one word is worth a world, for with that word God will knock all creature-power to pieces. God has shown you your sins, and He must show you salvation; and He says, ‘This is the work of God, that ye believe.'” The poor thing looked pleased for a moment, but the expression soon faded away. “Whose faithfulness is meant in that verse?” was asked. “Christ’s,” she replied. “I am at a point about that, the Church of God shall have all the blessing: but where I fail is in laying hold of it. I want to feel the comfort of it; but I suppose my sins and backslidings keep me out of it, if I am a child of God.” It was answered, “God will bring sin to remembrance, both before and after a sense of pardon is sealed on the heart; but sin cannot keep a child out of the grace of liberty any more than out of the gift of life. If God were hindered by man’s sin, no child of Adam would be saved. All the blessings of the covenant belong to the saints, and, when the decreed time is come, they must possess them.” “Oh, that is a very listless sort of religion,” she rejoined; “shouldn’t I get too easy about my state if I were so persuaded?” “God will see to that,” replied her friend; “all those whom He troubles about their state by His Spirit, will never rest till they find peace.” “But many tell me faith is an easy thing,” she answered; “the simplest thing in the world—just to believe what God has said.” “And do you find it easy?” “No, that I don’t,” she exclaimed, with energy. “I’d give the world to believe and be happy, but I can’t; it is not for want of will, I assure you.” “No, it is want of power,” replied the friend; “and God keeps that power in His own hand, to dispense, by the Holy Spirit, when, where, and how He pleases, according to His own will which He manifests to His trembling people.” “Yes; but is it not said, ‘The fearful and unbelieving shall be cast into the lake of fire’?” “That doesn’t mean God’s fearing, trembling people; it means the cowardly, the apostate, who deny Christ, and prove they never knew Him and loved Him.” “But, then, is it not said, ‘Your sins have separated between you and your God’? so have mine.” “Now this was said to Israel. God gave them their land on the condition of obedience, and He cast them out for their sins, as we see to this day; but the covenant of grace, ‘ordered in all things, and sure,’ is not based on the obedience of the creature, but upon the obedience of Christ.” “Then don’t you think God chastens for sin?” “Yes, certainly: you are under discipline now in your feelings, and God is making use of this gap between life and liberty to bring sins to your remembrance. But when the set time appointed by Him is come, your sin will not hinder the display of His grace. The children of God suffer loss in their feelings through sin, and get the rod in many ways, but they can never lose a covenant blessing, nor can they alter God’s purpose of love and grace concerning them.”
After this interview, a few brief visits were made, but there appeared no favourable change in her mind. She used to say, “I do not wish to be a spiritual thief, and take that which is not given me.” From trying circumstances, these visits were wholly discontinued for some weeks; but, calling one day to enquire how she was, the servant said she had a message from the sick one to say, “She was very happy now, and all right.” As opportunity offered, she was frequently visited, and then the change was indeed conspicuous. She said, without the application of any particular portion of Scripture, the whole scope of salvation by grace was presented to her, with a full and clear sense of her interest in it; and, from that time, she had been unspeakably happy. She said, “I do not now say, ‘Tis a point I long to know’—I am persuaded of it. The Lord has told me I am His child, and my salvation rests on this, ‘I will not suffer My faithfulness to fail.'” She continued more than two months in the body after this, and gave full proof that she was in the enjoyment of peace. She had those changes in feeling that belong to God’s living family, but it was well with her to the end, and her last testimony was that a Covenant God had done all for her, and in her, to the praise of the glory of His grace: