MINISTER OF CROY, INVERNESS-SHIRE. BORN, 1712; DIED, 1775.
Edited from the Original MSS., with Illustrative Notes,
BY THE LATE REV. WM. TAYLOR, M.A., STIRLING.
(Continued from page 316.)
“24th.—This day had a diet of examination. The house was crowded, the Lord was present, the duty delightful and edifying.
“30th.—Pleasant guests to-day, Jo. F—s and Miss J—y R—s, ‘the excellent of the earth, in whom is all my delight.’
“4th Dec.—Close at study all day. Some materials prepared; but oh! I fear that they are ununctioned—too much of my wretched unhallowed self in them, and too little of Christ and the Spirit. Lord, supply my deficiency according to the riches of Thy glorious grace, and make to-morrow a happy day to me, to mine, to thousands and tens of thousands of saints and sinners.
“5th.—This was, blessed be the Lord of the Sabbath, a happy day in the main. Though somewhat hampered in the first exercise, had much freedom and enlargement in the second discourse.
“17th.—Diverted from studying till the evening by company dead and carnal; and alas! I fear they found little benefit from me.
“18th.—Studied all day; too little in prayer. Lord! pity, forgive, and cure my atheism and indevotion. Lord, make to-morrow a memorable day. ‘Awake, O north wind, and come, thou south, and blow on my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out.’
“19th.—My own gracious Master was not wanting to aid and direct and strengthen His poor servant to-day. All glory to His blessed name! Amen.
“31st.—This day I resolve, in the Lord’s strength, to set apart, as far as my feeble body can bear, and as the Lord shall please to favour and assist, for deep retirement, humiliation, and prayer. Many loud calls to this duty at this time, such as the case and condition of my own poor soul—cold and languishing, oppressed with a dead hard heart and clouded evidences; the case and condition of my children with regard to their souls and what concerns their salvation—(particularly my eldest son, who suffered great affliction in soul and body—concerning whom I am called to sing of mercy and judgment: the Lord has wrought a great deliverance for him, keep him from falling again into security); the case of my parish in general, which is not what I would wish it to be: and the case in particular of four aged, sickly, dying women of my flock, some of whom I fear are yet strangers to Christ, and in great danger of perishing for ever. Come now, blessed Lord, breathe life into the dry dead bones of my soul. Lord, send forth Thy light and Thy truth. ‘Awake, O north wind, and come, thou south,’ and blow powerfully and sweetly on this parched, languishing garden! Amen and amen.
Afternoon.
The Lord has graciously countenanced this day’s poor mint* at duty, and encouraged me to mind the like exercises more punctually and frequently. The first call I had to quit my retirement was about ten o’clock, to go about family worship, in which the Lord gave uncommon assistance—blessed be His name! About an hour thereafter had another call to quit my closet and visit the only son, the only child, of a poor widow, who was suddenly taken ill of a dangerous distemper. I was soon satisfied that it was my duty to leave my retirement, agreeable as it was, and to visit this afflicted youth, especially as he lay sick in this same village. The exercise I was engaged in about myself and my children just as I was called, suggested to me some things that were singularly seasonable and useful to this afflicted mother and her son: from which I drew this instruction, that were I so wise as to walk closely with the Lord in the blessed pleasant paths of universal duty, my way would, through grace, be daily and hourly growing more sweet, lightsome, and pleasant, as one duty would fit and prepare and furnish for the more successful and comfortable discharge of another. ‘The way of the Lord is strength to the upright;’ yes, and light too (Proverbs x. 29).
* Attempt.
Nine o’clock at night.
After visiting the sick youth I returned direct to my closet, where I continued about two hours more, without any interruption, spent mostly in prayer; at which time, I hope I can say to the praise of free grace, that the Lord was pleased of His infinite mercy to shine and breathe on my poor soul by His Word and Spirit; to quicken, and humble, and comfort, and enlarge, and strengthen, and sanctify in some measure. I was helped to plead, in a wrestling, importunate, believing way, for my own soul, for each of my children and servants, for some of my friends, for many of my worthy brethren in the ministry, and for some young divines, students and candidates for the ministry, particularly Mr. Alex. Falconer, Mr. Ja. Hay Park, Mr. George Rainy, and Mr. Lewis Fraser. Several other persons and things, of which I had no thought for a long time, came to view, and became matter of exercise at this time—a time I desire to remember with gratitude and praise while I live. My clouded evidences were in a great measure cleared up; He restored me His salvation’s joy in some degree, and spoke peace to my heart and conscience. ‘O let me not return again to folly.’ I put up petition after petition in the prevailing name of Jesus—and most of them, I thought, received in such a way as left me little room to doubt but that they would be graciously answered in due time: and glory to His name, some of them were answered while I was yet speaking in prayer. A sweet strong gale from above at family worship. There was something in this exercise suited to the season, this being the last night of the old year. This was the best day I had in secret or private for some years past: no language can express the Lord’s wonderful kindness to an undeserving, an ill-deserving, and a hell-deserving sinner. Let heaven and earth, angels and men, praise Him! Amen.
“1763.—17th Feb.—Was called to visit a very aged and dying woman of my flock. She seemed to be resting on the right foundation, and likely to do well for eternity. This was a cordial.
“3rd March.—A throng fellowship-meeting, and I hope an edifying one.
“Thursday, 10th.—Yesterday was a good day; this, still better. More light, life, freedom, and energy. Being very much fatigued and indisposed in body this morning, it became matter of doubt with me whether I should venture abroad, though the diet was appointed. I remained for some little time in suspense, wishing to discern the path of duty. Looking up to heaven for direction, these words came immediately in view (John ix. 4): ‘I must work the works of him that sent me while it is day; the night cometh, when no man can work.’ This determined me to go; my indisposition wore off, my usual health and vigour returned, and after a diet of four hours I came home in the evening much refreshed in soul and body, without pain or weariness of any kind. The like event (to the praise of free grace be it recorded) I have met with many, very many times in the course of my poor, very poor, services. Oh, what a powerful, compassionate, condescending Master do we serve! Oh, how often has He borne me—poor, feeble, worthless me—as it were, on eagles’ wings, when I could scarcely move hand or foot! Strange indeed, and unaccountable, that we should be so slow to run His errands, when He is so willing and ready to bear all the cost and to perfect strength in our weakness.
“23rd.—A diet of catechising at the Leys; a thin diet. That place is in a declining way. Lord, revive, for Jesus’ sake! Spoke too warmly that day evening to one who injured me in a worldly affair. Lord, forgive if I have offended, as I fear I have. Let it be the last warm word that ever I shall speak in any worldly business that concerns myself. Oh, how ill does warmth in these pitiful low affairs become a Christian, and especially a minister of Christ!
“28th.—Visited D. D., an eminent Christian, in great distress of body, but resting by faith on the glorious foundation laid in Zion. He gave me, and his wife and four children then present, as solid and satisfying an account of the Lord’s first gracious and, I may add, saving work on his soul, as I have met with anywhere. This was a most edifying and comfortable visit.
(To be continued.)