MINISTER OF CROY, INVERNESS-SHIRE. BORN, 1712; DIED, 1775.
Edited from the Original MSS., with Illustrative Notes,
BY THE LATE REV. WM. TAYLOR, M.A., STIRLING.
(Continued from page 386.)
“29th.—Visited three aged and seemingly dying persons, but, alas! I found not one ‘D. D.’ among them all. I am in fear about two of them. Father, have mercy on them for Jesus’ sake. Awake, convince, and convert, if it be not too late. Too late! Oh, dreadful thought! Mercy, mercy, mercy! for the sake of the bloody agonies of our heavenly Kinsman. As to one of the three—H. Fraser in Dolt—blessed be the Lord for it, I have better hopes of his salvation. Lord, grant they may not be disappointed! Amen.
“Wednesday, 30th.—This day I have many calls to retire, fast, pray, and humble myself deeply before the Lord for my numberless sins of omission and commission of old and of late. The situation of my parish, family, and several of my dear friends, calls for it. Lord, pour out Thy blessed Spirit on my poor, wretched, parched, languishing soul, as a spirit of repentance, supplication, and prayer. Lord, suggest suitable meditations, awaken holy desires, touch this cold, frozen heart with a live coal from Thine altar!
“Ten o’clock at night.—The Lord has been pleased, of His great mercy, to carry me through the duty of this day in such a way as lays me under a new and strong obligation to bless and praise His most holy and gracious name while I live; for I have it to say now, as on former occasions—yea, on every occasion of this nature—to the praise of free grace, that ‘it was good for me to draw nigh to God.’ In the morning I was oppressed with a spirit of bondage; at noon I was sweetly relieved and enlarged by the benign spirit of adoption, which enabled me to say with humble boldness and unutterable delight, ‘Abba, Father.’ At the beginning of the duty my soul was much straitened and bound up, but soon my bonds were loosed, and my soul brought into a large place, where there was liberty, felicity, and rest. ‘He caused the north wind to awake in the morning,’ and commanded the sweet southern breeze to blow at noon. Then the spices of the garden began to flow out; the faded lilies began to rear up their drooping heads. Faith, love, affiance, complacency, calm resignation, contempt of sublunary things, a savour for the things that are above, were now felt—glory to His name!—in a livelier manner than usual. My soul doth therefore magnify the Lord; my spirit rejoiceth in God, my Saviour. Lord, keep this in the thoughts of the imagination of my heart for ever. Oh, to be more humble, thankful, vigilant, tender, spiritual, holy, and devout than ever! Oh, for clearer views, nearer access, deeper impressions, and higher fruitions than I have yet attained! Oh, I am still far, far behind. O how little have I yet seen of Christ’s glory, how little have I tasted of His love, in comparison of what thousands of His people have experienced, and what I might have attained myself had I been wise. But blessed, blessed be His name for ever, for my little drop—my glimmering ray—little as it is. Lord, Thou that knowest all things, knowest that I would not barter it for ten thousand worlds!
“Tuesday, 12th April.—Visited three aged dying persons, two of them, alas! alas! in a poor way—I fear strangers to Christ. O that the Lord might spare them some time! O that it might please the Lord to awaken and convert ere they sleep the sleep of death! The other person, a man of eighty years of age, seemed to me to be possessed of a lively steady faith in Christ. Among many edifying and excellent expressions he uttered, he said: ‘Had I the holiness and good works of ten thousand eminent saints, I would this day absolutely renounce and disclaim it all, in the business of my justification and acceptance with an infinitely holy God; and I would betake myself to the righteousness of Christ and His atoning blood, as my only sanctuary and my only hope.'”
Here is the record of another of those days of private devotion which the man of God used frequently to set apart at this period of his life. They show how well aware he was of the importance of keeping his own vineyard, and how carefully he did so, while watching over others committed to his charge.
“April, 1763. Friday, 15th.—This day I have many loud calls to be retired from the world, and devote as much of it as I possibly can to fasting, humiliation, and prayer, and that because of my little progress, or rather my lamentable deficiency in sanctification, spirituality, heavenly-mindedness, and want of preparation for death, judgment, and eternity. Alas! what a stranger am I to that habitual complacency in God, that ardent love to Jesus, that sweet resignation to Heaven, and that full assurance of faith that are expressly required, and which I therefore ought, and through grace might have attained. And though blessed, blessed be the Lord, I dare not deny that I’ve many times experienced somewhat of all these to my unspeakable happiness; yet, alas! I have been miserably inconstant, unstable as water, variable as the wind, prone to backslide, unfaithful to my vows, unsteady to my resolutions, unthankful for signal mercies, though unworthy of the least. Oh! what a monster of ingratitude am I! Oh! what a whorish, roving, faithless, atheistical heart have I! for these let my heart bleed; for these let mine eyes mourn to-day. Farther, I’ve reason to mourn this day that I’ve never been deeply enough concerned for the precious and immortal souls committed to my charge. I have indeed been preaching, praying, catechising, administering the blessed sacrament, visiting the sick, etc., in my poor way; but, alas! I fear I have not laboured so much in the closet as in the pulpit, so much in secret as in public, for their salvation—have not, like the blessed apostle, been travelling as in birth for them till Christ should be formed in their souls—though many, very many of them are visibly in a state of nature, and some of them, as it were, running in a full career to eternal perdition, yet I have not trembled, and wept, and mourned in secret for this as I ought to have done. Their awful situation has indeed awakened some pain, and terror, and concern in my mind; has produced some poor prayers and intercessions in secret for them; but, alas! not the thousandth part that the clamant reason and importance of the case required. And what aggravates my too great insensibility in this matter is, that I myself had the experience in my younger days of the wormwood and the gall, the horror and the misery of such a state and situation. Another thing that calls on me to humble myself this day before the Lord is, that I have been, and still am, shamefully ungrateful for the great mercies that the Lord has conferred on my family; and one, particularly, vouchsafed wonderfully and graciously in answer to earnest, repeated, and importunate prayers; and that I am not deeply and seriously enough concerned for what is yet wanting, though of the greatest moment and importance. Lord! grant that I may be deeply humbled, and seriously and suitably exercised this day about these things. For this purpose, O Father of mercies, pour out of Thy Spirit, for the sake of Thy dear Son, on this poor, wretched, coldsprit, darksome, stupid, worthless heart of mine, that I may pour it out before Thee this day in penitential confession, contrition, supplication, and fervent importunate prayers of faith. Oh! admit to the holiest in the new and living way consecrated through the rending of the veil, through the blood, and agonies, and intercession of Jesus—to the everlasting glory and praise of Thy grace. Amen.
“Nine o’clock at evening.—I have reason, good reason to look on this as a happy day to my soul—all glory and praise to the merciful Hearer of prayer, to the God of all grace, to the adorable Lamb that was slain and is alive for evermore, and to the blessed Spirit of benignity and consolation. What shall I render to the Lord for all His benefits, and particularly for what of His gracious countenance He was pleased to vouchsafe me this day; for those sweet, and seasonable, and powerful influences which enabled me at this time to make confession and supplication before Him, to pour out my heart in contrition and sorrow for my sins and shortcomings, to fly to the blood and righteousness of Jesus of new—to plead, to believe, to appropriate, to trust, to confide, to love, to rejoice, to adore? In a word, I was made to taste and see that the Lord is gracious: got something that was encouraging with respect to my soul, my family, and flock. Oh! that I was helped to maintain this blessed frame, and to carry it along with me through all the days and stages of my pilgrimage on earth! But, alas! how apt am I to fade and cool! It is, however, an inestimable privilege that there is access daily and hourly to the same adorable and inexhaustible Fountain of grace and consolation, and that He has said, ‘Because I live, ye shall live also.’ O may I be humble, and thankful, and taught to live by faith on Christ. Amen. . . . Had a delightful conference after my work was over, with a serious, exercised soul.”
One of the features of his character was tenderness along with great breadth of sympathy. Not his own family alone awakened his tender anxieties, nor his own flock alone, but all afflicted persons with whom he came in contact, or whose cases he heard of were remembered earnestly in his secret prayers; and he was ever ready to minister to their bodily and spiritual relief. We find him, for example, at this time, not only praying much for the pious minister of a neighbouring parish who was dangerously ill, but going to watch by his bedside, and helping to nurse him until the crisis was past, while comforting him in soul-distress. Scarcely was this work of brotherly love at an end, when we come upon the following entry:—
“Tuesday, 31st May.—Attended a poor young lamb of my flock, a girl of twelve years of age, carried to Inverness with her left hand mortified. By the concurring advice of all the physicians her hand must be immediately cut off. Conversing and prayed with the poor girl and her disconsolate parents—had much of the Lord’s countenance in these exercises previous to the bloody operation. During the operation the dear child held me by the hand all the time; the Lord, whom she frequently and fervently addressed, supported her spirits, and gave her wonderful courage and presence of mind. I hope in His mercy that she will do well. This morning, being deeply concerned about my daughter, whom I was to bring along with me to town [Inverness] to prosecute her education, I was encouraged and comforted by the precious promise (Jer. xxxii. 40), ‘I will put my fear in their hearts, that they shall not depart from me.’ Lord Jesus, take care of Thy little handmaid, devoted from her birth to the most honourable office of washing the feet of the meanest of Thy sincere disciples.”
Then, next day, at Inverness, instead of confining his thoughts to his daughter and his many Christian friends in that place, he (as we find him writing)—
“1st June.—Visited the two condemned malefactors—conversed and prayed with them.”
And three weeks later he again writes—
“21st and 22nd.—Attended the Presbytery at Inverness, and visited the poor condemned malefactors. I have ground to hope well of them. O Lord, carry on a thorough, mighty, saving work on their hearts and nature.”
And a week later:—
“27th.—Had the pleasure to hear that one of the condemned malefactors, condemned to die for some instances of theft, has received a reprieve. O! may he receive from Christ the white stone and the new name; and may this be the happiness of his fellow-prisoner! Amen.”
CHAPTER IV.—THE REVIVAL.
During the month of June, 1763, while objects of sympathy outside his own flock so largely shared his efforts and prayers without being suffered to interfere with his special watchful care for souls committed to his charge, we come to the first recorded symptom of a greatly extended blessing on his ministry:—
“Sabbath eve, 5th June.—I hope the Lord was this day graciously present in time of the lecture with the speaker and the hearers. Many were affected, as I was, in the delivery, much affected, and some bathed in tears. May the happy effect be the real conversion of sinners and the edification of saints! But, alas! how cold and formal was I in much of the English sermon! Lord, forgive the iniquity of holy things.”
Under this sense of shortcoming, Mr. Calder sets apart a day, and soon after another day, for personal humiliation and prayer with reference to his felt “coldness” and to the state of his people, as well as specially to seek a blessing on the approaching dispensation of the Lord’s Supper. And manifestly he soon begins to find himself in a very cheering atmosphere of ministerial success; for, after days occupied in conversation with new applicants for admission to the Lord’s table, he says, “Blessed be the Lord, there is a greater flocking to Christ this year than there has been for some years past.” During the communion season in his parish, and after it, these tokens of Divine blessing multiply; and he specially records the fact that he meets with them even in “the wicked village” he had been specially praying for. But we pass on to the communion (some time later) in the neighbouring parish of Inverness, where also, according to the custom of the district, he himself and many of his people attended.
“Thursday, 18th.—This being the fast-day before the communion at Inverness, I rode into town—heard sermon forenoon and afternoon.
“Saturday, 20th.—Mr. Hector M’Phail* preached an excellent sermon from Ps. x. 17, ‘Lord, thou hast heard the desire of the humble, thou wilt prepare their heart,’ etc. I preached immediately after him from Ps. xxxvi. 8, ‘Thou shalt be abundantly satisfied,’ etc. Blessed be the Lord, who for His own name’s sake was pleased to support and comfort me to-day. After sermon I distributed to the people of my parish near two hundred tokens.* Blessed be the Lord, the number of communicants has increased more this year among my people than any former year since I came among them; and I trust in the Lord that many of them, most of them, are real Christians. Lord, grant that all of them may approve themselves such!
* The worthy minister of the parish of Resolis, in Ross-shire, whose name has a peculiar fragrance in the district to this day. It was he who taught an ignorant girl the two prayers which have lately become well known through publication in a popular tract: “Lord, teach me to know myself;” “Lord, teach me to know Thyself;” the use of the first of which issued in the girl’s deep conviction of sin; and of the second, in her saving conversion and peace in believing.
* To those who know the dread of unworthy communicating which prevails in the Northern Highlands, and the strictness of self-examination enjoined and practised before every dispensation of the Lord’s Supper, the number above-mentioned as going from Croy to join in communion in another parish, and who are characterised as they are in the diary, will appear great. They suggest the probable presence, as fellow-worshippers, of a large number of earnest inquirers, and even of a good many true believers besides who were not yet communicants; and they indicate a remarkable state of spiritual prosperity at that time in Croy.
(To be continued.)