MINISTER OF CROY, INVERNESS-SHIRE. BORN, 1712; DIED, 1775.
Edited from the Original MSS., with Illustrative Notes,
BY THE LATE REV. WM. TAYLOR, M.A., STIRLING.
(Continued from vol. xxii., page 415.)
“Sabbath, 21st.—Mr. Alex. Fraser preached the action-sermon from Rom. iv. 25, ‘Who was delivered for our offences, and was raised again for our justification’—one of the best discourses I ever heard; by it I was led to some views of my adorable suffering Lord and Redeemer that were most affecting, most humbling, and most comfortable—so that, on the whole, this was a very happy day to me, as I believe it was to many others. But, alas! how soon do these good impressions wear off my mind; at least I have but too much reason to say, as to the very pleasing and heavenly savour and sensible delight that attend them, ‘Rara hora, brevis mora.‘* Mr. D—d D—n preached after noon, a sound, seasonable sermon, from James v. 8, ‘Be ye also patient: establish your hearts: for the coming of the Lord draweth nigh.’
“Monday, 22nd.—Mr. M’Phail preached Erse † this day from Is. xii. 3, ‘Therefore with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells,’ etc.—a sweet evangelical discourse. I preached immediately after him on Ps. xcii. 12, ‘The righteous shall flourish like a palm-tree, he shall grow like the cedar in Lebanon.’ Blessed be the Lord who gave some little liberty.
* Uncommon hour; short time.
† Gaelic.
“Tuesday, 23rd.—Visited some worthy friends in town, and returned in the evening without any weariness of body, and with much sweet peace of mind, and a most grateful sense of all the Lord’s most gracious benefits. O that I had a heart to praise Him—O let every day of my life be devoted to His service, and every action vocal of His praise!
“Wednesday, 24th.—Much darkness this day in family worship. At mid-day conversed long with M—t M’—ie in Culloden Muir of this parish, under a most promising concern for salvation. I believe the Lord is on His way with comfort and joy.
“Thursday, 25th.—A fellowship meeting and a very agreeable one. M—t M’Kenzie, who was with me yesterday, has got some happy beginning of an outgate this day—glory to the Lord God of salvation, who wounds and heals, who kills and makes alive!
“Friday, 26th.—Isob. Sutherland, spouse to worthy Don. M’Lean, one of our elders, having been awakened some weeks ago to a just sense of her sin and misery, has passed through a most promising work, which I trust is real and saving conversion; and having got a delightful outgate, much enlargement, and a warm sense of the love of Christ at the communion at Inverness last Lord’s day, she came to me this morning with these glad tidings, begging of me to help her in blessing and praising our gracious God and sweet Redeemer, for His marvellous goodness to her soul. O that I had a heart to praise him for this! May the Lord keep His everlasting arms about her, and strengthen and establish her more and more!
“Monday, 26th Sept.—Visited five distressed families. The Lord, I know, does much approve of this part of the pastoral function by the gracious countenance He is pleased to give His unworthy servant on such occasions.
“Tuesday, 27th.—Attended the Presbytery. Mr. R—t R—e was this day ordained minister of I—s.* Nothing alas! alas! of precious Christ and His glorious gospel in the ordination sermon. Oh! the dismal aspect of things in our poor declining Church, and in this corner in particular. Help, Lord! for Thy name’s sake. Let Thy tender mercies prevent us speedily, for we are brought low.
* Evidently Inverness. With his usual delicacy, he does not give even the initials of the minister who preached the Christless sermon.
“Sabbath, 16th.—This day it pleased the Lord to scatter the clouds I was under for several days past with respect to my intended journey.† He has gently and sweetly cleared my way, has given me full leave to go, and satisfied me that it is the way of my duty in present circumstances, and promised to go with me and my company, and take care of my dear flock in my absence. This evening my three boys retired to separate closets to renew their baptismal engagements to the Lord, to devote themselves of new to the God of their fathers, to take hold of His covenant, and to implore His blessed presence along with them. I spent some time with them now and formerly in exhortations and prayers, etc., etc.”
† To Aberdeen, to place his three sons at College.
We omit the account of his journey, and must be sparing of quotations from his many references to his children. But how touching the following entries, penned soon after his return from Aberdeen; and how instructive to parents the holy self-jealousy they display, lest his darlings should usurp Christ’s place in his heart.
“Saturday, 24th Oct.—Since I came home had no leisure for devout retirement till now, though I am loudly called to such an exercise. . . . I am particularly concerned for my too strong and, I fear, excessive and idolatrous attachment to my pleasant children, and particularly my dear little Benjamin,* whose very dutiful carriage towards me, with his other amiable qualities, have penetrated too far into my paternal bosom, and stolen away too much of my unwary heart. As my oldest son has always had the same tender, affectionate, obliging disposition towards his father, he has no less room in my heart; and my son Hughie being possessed of the like disposition and warm affection to me, though somewhat more reserved, I cannot refuse but he is equally dear to me; and my lovely Annie being as dutiful a daughter as ever I saw, she has likewise too large a share, I fear, of my affection. Oh! blessed Lord Jesus! win and wean this foolish heart of mine; recall, reduce this day my straying affections from them and all creatures to Thyself—let these little insinuating darlings be erased from off my heart, and set as a seal on Thine—let them be turned down to their proper place, even to the footstool, and be Thou ever seated without a rival on the throne of my heart. Amen! Amen! Amen!
* The youngest, Charles, afterwards the eminent minister of Ferintosh.
“Nine o’clock at eve.—. . . Blessed be His name! I had much freedom in pouring out my heart in prayer for each of my children in particular, and in recommending my poor, feeble, feckless† lambs to the care and guidance, the instruction and protection—yea, to the special grace and benign bosom of our adorable, our omnipotent, our omnipresent, our tender-hearted Shepherd, who delights according to His sweet promise to gather the lambs with His arm, and to carry them in His blessed bosom. Amen! so be it, blessed Lord. There I leave them. Eternal praises to my fathers’ God and my God for the promising evidences of His grace and fear which appear in and about my dear children. More and more of this, for Jesus’ sake. Amen!
† Strengthless.
“Friday, 25th.—This day my sore complaint of heart-coldness, heart-estrangement, heart-atheism, was awfully felt, especially in the morning, as it has been for some mornings past, to the terror and distress of my poor benighted soul. Had some little breathing of relief, through the Lord’s mercy, in secret prayer and at family worship. But, alas! I still carry about this sore and awful plague—the want of heart-felt love to Christ, and soul-solacing complacency in God. Ah! I fear that I’ve somehow provoked the Lord to hide His blessed face from me and to withdraw the benign influences of His Holy Spirit. O blessed Lord! show me wherefore it is that Thou contendest with me; and oh! may I be helped to look up, and sigh, and pray, and wait for the dawning of the day, and the cheering beams of the Sun of Righteousness.
(To be continued.)