MINISTER OF CROY, INVERNESS-SHIRE. BORN, 1712; DIED, 1775.
Edited from the Original MSS., with Illustrative Notes,
BY THE LATE REV. WM. TAYLOR, M.A., STIRLING.
(Continued from page 157.)
“Thursday, July 12th.—Conference in the morning with young converts who had been attending at Ardcloch, who are in a promising way. The Lord (blessed be His name!) is doing good savingly to souls in this place this season. Christ has not divorced our mother; for sons and daughters are born in our Zion, who shall be a name and a praise to Him in time and eternity. Of this I have, blessed be His name! seen many delightful instances this year, and the last; and more or less every year since I had the honour to be a minister of the gospel. More and more may I see of this, O Lord, for Thy name’s sake!
“Sabbath, 15th.—Blessed be my glorious and benign Master for what of His gracious presence and countenance He was pleased to afford to-day in this place in public, in private, and secret. I am full of hopes that this day’s work shall not be without some precious and spiritual fruit, through the grace of God and the agency of His divine Spirit. Even so be it. Amen.
“Sabbath, 22nd.—A happy day. The Lord was graciously pleased to give some light, and life, and strength. Glory be to His name! Amen.
“Tuesday, 24th.—A delightful fellowship meeting; more souls awakened; glory be to His name! It is like to be a happy year in this corner.
“Resolis, Monday, 30th.—Mr. M’Phail preached one of the best sermons my ears ever heard from Titus ii.: ‘Looking for that blessed hope and the glorious appearance,’ etc. Thus the solemn work was brought to a happy and comfortable conclusion, through the good hand of the Lord on us and with us. May heaven and earth praise Him! May happy, most happy fruits result from it! Amen: so let it be! Amen: so shall it be through grace.
“Friday, August 3rd.—This day I have had matter of great humiliation. Through invigilance and security, which have already stolen insensibly on me, I have offended my dearest and highest Lord in more ways than one. I have sinned and offended both in word and deed, though not deliberately, or in a way to hurt or offend anybody else, yet I am sure it has offended my adorable Jesus. I have therefore been humbling myself before Him, and in some measure grieved for grieving His Spirit; and as He knows it was not voluntary or deliberate, but through infirmity and invigilance, I know He has forgiven me; but I cannot forgive myself, and I trust in His mercy to be more watchful of this wicked roving tongue, and still more wicked and
treacherous heart. So help me, O Lord God of my salvation! Amen.
“Sabbath, 5th.—The Lord gave many suitable and seasonable instructions to-day through His poor servant to His people; but, alas! I felt too little of the power and energy of them on my heart in the delivery! Ah! how formal and ununctioned has my heart and spirit been for some time past in the public ordinances! O pity, forgive, and cure, for Thy name’s glory. Amen.
“Thursday, 9th.—A sweet fellowship meeting. GREAT FLOCKING OF SOULS TO CHRIST THIS SEASON. Glory, glory be to free grace!
“Sabbath, 12th.—This was a great day, blessed be the Lord! Many were affected; some awakened. Lord, grant that they be savingly converted from sin to God. Amen.
“Wednesday, 15th.—The whole day spent with young converts (I hope I may call them), one after another, who mean, if the Lord will, to communicate on this occasion for the first time. I had much joy and satisfaction in many of them, and good hope concerning the rest. May the Lord keep His everlasting arms about them, and carry on the good work that is begun, until the day of complete redemption shall dawn. Amen.
“Thursday, 16th.—This day had not one moment’s leisure to study, the whole of my time from morning to night being employed, as yesterday, in society and conference with serious exercised souls preparing for the Lord’s table for the first time. Blessed be the Lord for the uncommon and promising awakenings that are among many this season! O may it terminate in conversion and salvation, which I trust in the Lord’s mercy will be the happy case! One of this day’s agreeable visitants was labouring exceedingly under a spirit of bondage; with whom, after much conference and exhortation, I prayed in my closet, as I usually do in such cases, and the happy effect was an immediate relief and loosing of bonds in a great measure. All the glory be to the merciful Hearer of prayer! Amen.”
In August of this memorable year of his ministry we find him amid the services preparatory for a communion Sabbath.
“Friday, August 24th.—Two fellowship meetings to-day, one in each language. As my constant attendance on Christ’s lambs who are to communicate for the first time, if the Lord will, took up all my time, I was very uneasy in my mind, as I had most of the action-sermon* to study; but this day I have found, by the great and unexpected assistance which the Lord was pleased to afford me in studying, that I could not employ my time better or so well as by tending and waiting on these precious lambs of the flock; for all is now made up to me by their great and gracious Shepherd, and my kind and bountiful Master. So that I am now perfectly confirmed in the resolution I put on many years since, to keep an open door to all serious and exercised souls on such
* Sermon before Communion.
solemn occasions, and to admit them from morning to night as oft as they ask admittance; for besides the pleasure and edification I received from their experiences, I now find that the Lord can and will always make up to His servants the time they spend in such necessary, and charitable, and merciful exercises—viz., in conference, exhortation, and prayer with serious exercised souls.
“Sabbath Eve, 26th.—Now the most solemn part of the work is over. And blessed, for ever blessed be the great Master and Maker of the feast! He has done all things well; He has enabled me to deliver with freedom, ease, and pleasure, the precious truths I received from Himself; and I could easily perceive, and am now fully persuaded, that they were blessed to many. His people were put in a sweet lively frame, and were striving who should be foremost to commemorate their blessed Lord’s dying love, and seal the everlasting covenant. It was indeed, in both congregations, a great and a glorious day of the Son of man. I trust strangers have been affected and awakened, and shall be won to Christ for ever.
“Monday, 27th.—This last day of the feast was a very great and happy day—one of the best days of the gospel I ever saw. . . . And now I set up my Ebenezer. O that I had a heart to praise Him for wonderful and undeserved goodness and mercy on this solemn occasion. Still, I have reason to regret that I was too formal and ununctioned in all this solemn service: I was, as usual, the poorest, and the least, and the vilest of all His servants and people. But His kingdom is advancing and gaining ground; and therein I rejoice, and will rejoice amid my own poverty and wretchedness.
“Thursday, 30th. . . . I have a thousand things more to say to the praise of free grace, but time fails me; eternity will do it. Amen.
“Wednesday, 5th.—A long conference with a serious young communicant, who is walking in darkness, and groaning under the plague of a hard heart, etc., etc., and seems to be sighing and longing for Christ and communion with God through Him as the one thing. Happy choice!
“October 5th.—Since the late solemnity at Inverness, I had no leisure to retire and think on that and other affairs of the last moment and consequence, particularly the deadness, and, I may say, more than ordinary languor of my heart this season, though, blessed be the Lord! my public ministrations were never more remarkably blessed, or so remarkably blessed, as this season, for the conviction and conversion of sinners, and the comfort and establishment of the Lord’s people. Children, and many children, have been begotten in my bonds, which shows that the glory of the power is of God and not of man. But oh, how poor, and dead, and languishing has my soul been in the midst of solemn festivities! though, blessed be the Lord, in many places and times when and where I was called to speak in public, as the
mouth of God to the great congregation, and the mouth of the congregation to Him, I was never once deserted in the public this season. Glory be to my kind, and gracious, and faithful Master for this! But oh! I was very dull and heavy in secret, and even at the sacred table, though not without a steady faith of adherence, and humble confidence in the merits of Christ my Lord, my righteousness, and strength. O may I be helped this day to be thankful for the mercies I have received, and humbled under a sense of my numberless sins, failings, and imperfections!
“Friday Morning, 26th.—This forenoon, if the Lord will, I mean to set apart for more than ordinary devotion, for which there is great occasion—particularly to implore the Divine presence along with my dear and pleasant boys, who are to set out, Providence favouring, on Monday next, for the University of Aberdeen, to gather spoils, I hope, for adorning the temple of the Lord, and to get themselves trained and armed with weapons of various kinds for combating the powers of darkness, and pulling down the kingdom of Satan in their day, and advancing the kingdom of God, and promoting the cause of pure and undefiled religion, even the blessed religion of Jesus. That this is my sincere aim in their education the all-seeing God knows; and glory be to His name! I have ground to believe that it is theirs also, and that they have honestly devoted themselves to the Lord with this glorious view. May the Lord God of their fathers strengthen and confirm them more and more in this glorious purpose, and honour them to honour Him in their day and generation!
“Two o’clock Afternoon.—During the short time of my retirement this forenoon, I experienced much of the mercy, goodness, love, and special presence of the Lord; had much freedom in pouring out this poor heart of mine in the exercise of confession, contrition and supplication; had much clearness, satisfaction, and comfort as to the several things that were matter of exercise at this time, particularly as to the main thing, from several promises and passages of the Word of God. . . . Lord, let it be to thy poor unworthy servant, and his devoted children, according to Thy gracious and blessed Word! For ever blessed be the name of the Lord God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, the God of my fathers, my God, and my children’s God, for what He has done, for what He is doing, and for what He has promised to do for unworthy us! Amen.
“Tuesday, November 13th.—. . . What I am to be concerned about to-day is, first, the declining state of this poor church, etc.
“Ten at Eve.—With regard to the first article, the state of this poor church. . . . I cannot deny, but my heart, cold as it is, was somewhat touched and melted with sorrow for her dismal and degenerate condition, and was led to pray, and plead, and wrestle for her in a way that’s not usual with so stupid and dull a snail as
I am, crying earnestly for the redress of her grievances, and particularly the removal of one capital evil which has brought a train of mischiefs after it;* and I hope and desire to believe the day is coming, though I may not perhaps see it, when Dagon shall fall down and be broken to pieces before the Ark of the Covenant, and that this holy and blessed Ark that is now so much in the possession and at the disposal of profane Philistines, will prove too hot for them, and that it shall be restored to its proper place and former glory in the Lord’s time. Amen. Amen.
“Sabbath Eve, December 16th.—Blessed be the Lord for the remarkable countenance He was pleased to give this day to His own work in the hands of His own feeble servant. Seldom was I directed to say things more alarming or more alluring than such as have been advanced this day: seldom was I helped to make a fuller or freer offer of Christ to sinners, or to show them in a more striking light their need of Him. Nor did these things occur to my meditations in time of studying, but they came full into my view in time of preaching. Many seemed to be affected. O may it please Him who gave this precious seed to the poor unworthy sower to water it with the dews of His grace and Spirit, that it may quicken and prosper, and spring up unto a harvest of glory at the long run! Amen and Amen.
“Saturday, 29th.—Had an uneasy night. I offended, though inadvertently, last night; I feared that the Lord was displeased, but did not know it for certain till He was graciously pleased to convince me of it, and rebuke me for it in the seasons of the night. Blessed be His name, who has not ceased to be a Monitor and a Reprover to me, and at the same time blotteth out my sins in the blood of Christ. If I have offended, as alas! I often offend, through grace let me do so no more. Have got a new and a humbling view of the excessive attachment of my heart to my dear, and amiable, and dutiful children. Lord, wean and win all my heart—all my love, to Thyself.
“December 31st.—This being the last day of the year, I cannot conclude these memorandums without blessing, praising, and adoring the Triune-Jehovah for the miracles of His power and grace I have seen this year in the conversion of many souls; in which respect this has been the happiest year of my poor ministry. Glory, glory, all glory to the adorable Author and Agent! And much of this work, if not the greatest part of it, was among a poor, despised people in two neighbouring parishes who got pastors
* The “capital grievance” to which he refers is manifestly that of patronage, as reimposed on the Church of Scotland by an Act of Parliament passed in the reign of Queen Anne. This Act was not only protested against by the whole Church for a long time, but was by the thoroughly evangelical portion of the Church regarded as being constitutionally null, if not as to the power of conferring benefices, at least as to the power of entitling to the cure of souls. James Calder was one of those who resisted all attempts to enforce the law in the latter sense.
whose language they do not understand;* and so, being poor, despised, scattered sheep without a shepherd, the adorable Shepherd of Israel, in whom compassions flow and overflow, has been remarkably looking after them—calling them, gathering them, tending them, healing them, feeding them, carrying the lambs in His bosom, and gently leading the weak and the weary. Glory to His name for it! Amen. With respect to my poor family, I’ve cause to sing of judgment and of mercy: of judgment, in that the Lord made a sore breach on my family in removing by death my amiable and only daughter, the second delight of my eyes, and the kind nurse of my declining days; of mercy, rich and wonderful mercy, never to be forgotten, in that He was pleased to ripen and prepare her, young as she was in years, for her change, and to form her by His grace for the happy immortality which she now enjoys—where this lovely young handmaid, devoted from her birth to the service of Jesus, ministers with unutterable pleasure to her dear Redeemer and her heavenly Husband in the higher house of glory. Besides, I’ve cause to sing of His mercy in that He was pleased to support and comfort me under this sore affliction; and for His great goodness and kindness to her brothers, my surviving children, in protecting and preserving them in their journeys, and in prospering them in their studies, etc.; and most of all, for the promising appearances of His special and saving grace that are to be seen about them. May the Lord God of their fathers continue to bless them more and more, and spare them, if it be His blessed will, to glorify His name, and advance His kingdom on earth, for the sake of Jesus! Amen.
“This has been the busiest year of my ministry as to public and solemn services; but it pleased my adorable Lord and most gracious Master to proportion my strength to my work. His strength was made perfect in my exceeding great weakness. All glory be to His name! Amen.
“My failings, infirmities, and sinful imperfections have been in this, as in former years, very many, and very humbling. Father, forgive, for Jesus’ sake! Amen. Amen.”
Another year of special blessing! Mr. Calder’s diary is indeed less full in 1765 than in some former years. Apparently he is too busy, and his strength is too frequently exhausted, to leave him either time or elasticity of spirits for detailed entries. Enough, however, is recorded to give one who reads regularly through his manuscript a vivid conception of the man of God, as he, in bodily weakness and under sufferings so severe occasionally that he apprehends death to be close at hand, but in the midst of a continued effusion of the Divine Spirit, labours for souls in season and out of season, and that not only among his own parishioners, but among many besides. Often indeed he goes to the pulpit
* He evidently means spiritually; for it was rarely attempted in Scotland to settle in Gaelic parishes ministers ignorant of the Gaelic language.
under an apprehension of physical inability to preach, and at times under a still more distressing mental languor which seems like spiritual deadness; but it is to find himself revived and countenanced there beyond his expectations, and to be cheered through the week by converse with persons who have been awakened to deep concern, and with believers who have been comforted and edified under his ministrations. Most eminently did the Lord, during this year, fulfil to His faithful servant His gracious promise, “My strength is made perfect in weakness.”
“January 1st, 1765.—This being the first day of the new year, aimed at being suitably exercised in secret, and socially with my family. . . . As the year 1763 was a happy year in this place—much happier than former years—with regard to the advancement of Christ’s kingdom in the saving conversion of sinners; and as the year 1764 was a happier year still in that respect, may the Lord grant that the year 1765 may exceed them both (whoever they be that shall live to see its period) in the number of saving conversions here and elsewhere. O may many, very many, souls of every rank and sex and age be gathered in this year to Christ in the gospel net! For, alas! there are many, very many, as yet in the gall of bitterness and bond of iniquity. Lord, send prosperity, for Jesus’ sake! Amen.
“Saturday Eve, 12th.—Studied all day. Lord, help a poor weakling! This week was generally and for the most part happy, especially in writing to a gentleman of rank on the business of his salvation.
“Sabbath Eve, 13th.—This day I went to the house of God feeble and indisposed both in mind and body; yet it pleased my most gracious and compassionate Master to strengthen me in soul, body, and spirit! Felt none of my bodily ailments in the pulpit, and had some faint yet pleasant beams of the Sun of righteousness both in praying and preaching: glory be to His name for this! Amen.
“Friday, 18th.—This day much indisposed in soul and body at once; the unevenness of my temper is cause of great humiliation. Studied for an hour or two afternoon; at eve somewhat recovered through the Lord’s mercy. Family worship this night was sweet and refreshing. . . . O to win nearer still, and to rest with complacency night and day under the shadow of Emmanuel’s blessed wings!
“Saturday Eve, 19th.—Studied all day, yet I am poorly provided; but my glorious Master is a liberal giver! This week poor enough. Lord, pity, pardon, and furnish! Amen.
“Sabbath Eve, 20th.—Blessed be the Lord for the provision He made for His poor people in this place to-day. I was led into a train of thought of which I had no view at all in time of studying. I was much affected, and the congregation seemed to be so also in time of preaching. The Lord follow it with a special blessing, and forgive my great defects and shortcomings! Amen.
(To be continued.)