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Home » Publications » Free Presbyterian Magazine » 1919 » November 1919 » Diary of the Rev. James Calder,

Diary of the Rev. James Calder,

MINISTER OF CROY, INVERNESS-SHIRE. BORN, 1712; DIED, 1775.

Edited from the Original MSS., with Illustrative Notes,

BY THE LATE REV. WM. TAYLOR, M.A., STIRLING.

(Continued from page 186.)

Saturday, May 13th.

This was one of the sweetest and happiest days I had for years back, on some special spiritual accounts which I cannot now record. Some of the sweetest views I ever had of my adorable Emmanuel, of the infinite glory of His person, and the infinite benignity of His heart. I was amazed and overcome with His infinite goodness and condescension and tender pity in coming over my shameful coldness, indifference, formality, ingratitude, idolatry, and disloyalty! O may heaven and earth praise Him! May the sacred fire of love to Him who is infinitely loving and lovely burn perpetually on the altar of my heart, and may my whole time, talents, and powers be entirely devoted to His glory, and employed in His service! Amen.

Friday, June 13th.

This day the Presbytery and heritors met here for reparation of outhouses, &c. Alas! how unworthy am I that there should be such trouble, expense, and ado about me. O may I be more active, faithful, and zealous than ever! Sweet liberty in family worship. And yet I fear I offended the Lord by speaking too warmly and violently in defence of some brethren who were reviled in an unchristian manner as if they were a parcel of reprobates. Lord, forgive wherein I have offended! Amen.

Tuesday, 20th.

The Presbytery and heritors met again here to-day. I am obliged to them for their attention to me; yet little comfort had I, or can have, in these things—’Vanity of vanities,’ &c.

Friday, 23rd.

Having resorted to-day with more frequency and weight on my spirit than usual to a throne of grace, it pleased the Lord of His infinite mercy about noon to vouchsafe His unworthy servant nearer access and sweeter communion with Himself, in and through the Lord Jesus Christ, than I enjoyed, I think, for some years back. My soul was filled with peace and joy in believing; firmly established on the Rock laid in Zion, and abundantly satisfied with the everlasting, redeeming covenant love of God in Christ Jesus. For ever blessed be the Lord for what I felt, and still feel of His peace in my conscience, and His love in my heart, and the warm breathings of the Spirit of adoption, whereby I could, and did, with sweet filial freedom, cry, Abba, Father! May the Lord keep this for ever on the thoughts of the imagination of my heart! Amen. May He strengthen my faith, confirm my hope, and inflame my love more and more! And may I be helped to walk humbly, softly, thankfully, tenderly, carefully, and unwearyedly with my God—still leaning on Christ and rejoicing in Him, as the Lord Jehovah in whom I have righteousness and strength, and all that my soul needs, and that my heart can desire, to make me wise and free, holy and happy, for evermore! Amen.

Tuesday, 27th.

Conference, examination, exhortation, and prayers with several young people who have it in view in the Lord’s strength to make their first approach to the table of the Lord. I have had great satisfaction to-day in conference with my dear people; for which I desire to bless the Lord!

Wednesday, July 5th.

To-morrow, if the Lord will, the solemn work is to begin here. Alas! how unprepared am I in all respects! My frail body ailing much, my poor soul still worse. But there is balm in Gilead, there is a glorious, a powerful tender-hearted Physician there, who has many a time given power to the faint—many a time helped the poor worm Jacob—many a time perfected strength in my weakness—and he is the same God, the God of my strength and of my salvation. I desire therefore to have my waiting eyes towards Him, and to spend some time this day in meditation, prayer, self-examination, and renewing covenant with Him in His own strength. Help, Lord Jesus, I have infinite need of Thy help! Amen. Amen.

Afternoon.

Blessed, blessed be the Lord, this was one of the happiest mornings I enjoyed for many years. Was helped to embrace all that was offered, and to yield up all that was asked. Wonderful was the power, and rich was the grace that brought such a poor, dead, dull, unbelieving creature as I am to such a blessed frame and disposition of soul. Glory, glory be to His name for ever and ever! Amen.

Thursday, 6th.

This day the solemn work began here. I ventured, feeble as I was with a cold and sore throat, in the Lord’s strength to preach at the tent to the great congregation. Be it recorded to the praise of free grace, to the glory of the God of my strength, I felt no weakness of body all the time of preaching two discourses and administering the sacrament of baptism—yea, from that hour my ails were rebuked and went off gradually. Blessed be His adorable name! Amen. But I have still greater cause to bless and praise Him; for I felt some powerful breathings from above on my spirit while preaching the gospel to-day; and I have got solid evidence this eve that the Lord blessed this day’s work in public to some precious young lambs of His flock, whose bands have been loosed, and whose doubts have been scattered, and their souls at full liberty to join themselves to the Lord in a perpetual covenant that shall never be forgotten.

Friday, 7th.

I attended the great fellowship meeting a part of the day, and was exceedingly delighted with what I heard from some of the Lord’s dear children—all the sweet experience of the Spirit’s work on their hearts. I was succeeded by my worthy brother, Mr. A. F., senior, who concluded the meeting.

Saturday, 8th.

This day young Mr. Fraser preached at the tent, a pious youth greatly acceptable to the Lord’s people—the son, the grandson, the great-grandson of eminent ministers of Christ. ‘Filius, nepos, pronepos pastorum piissimorum Christi.’

Sabbath, 9th.

I preached the action sermon within on Titus ii., ‘Who gave himself for us, to redeem us,’ &c. The Lord was very gracious to me, His most unworthy servant, in preaching to the great congregation, and in all the other parts of this day’s solemnity. My bodily ails were rebuked and removed, and my soul carried in some measure as at the first sacrament I ever administered, i.e., as on eagle’s wings; though still I have it to regret that I was not so deeply and spiritually exercised in time of the solemn action as I ought to be. . . . Some petitions of great importance I was helped to table before the Lord, I hope, with acceptance in and through the Beloved.

Thursday, 13th.

. . . Blessed be the Lord, I hear many sweet and true reports of His great goodness to the souls of His people at our late solemnity in this place. Glory be to His name! Amen.

(To be continued.)

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