Written by herself some years before her death, and now taken from her original Copy with great care and diligence.
“Come and hear, all ye that fear God, and I will declare what he hath done for my soul.”—PSALM lxvi. 16.
“As we have heard, so have we seen in the city of the Lord of Hosts.”—PSALM xlvi. 8.
“Beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image, from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.”—2 COR. iii. 18.
(Continued from page 181.)
AND while I was thus longing for perfection, that word was brought to my mind, “Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect, . . . but I press forward toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus” (Phil. iii. 12-14).
At this time there was a petition I earnestly put up to God, which was, that He would by the power of grace so renew my heart as to make it act as naturally, as constantly, as fully, as freely, and as unwearyingly, in the way of holiness, as ever it did in the way of sin. This petition was both unreasonable, and partly inconsistent with the order of God’s covenant and the method of grace, who in this life renews believers but in part, God having reserved perfection to the life to come; yet, nevertheless, He manifested to me another display of that gracious title He hath taken to Himself, the Hearer of Prayer. So I remember after this, I felt such a power of grace on my heart, and such downpourings of divine influences, and got such views through the glass of those duties, such as reading, meditation, and prayer, that transported me, or, as the Apostle speaks, “But we all, with open face, beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image, from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord” (2 Cor. iii. 18). So that now I found it more easy and more my element to raise my heart to heaven, and to have it there, than to bring it down again to this world, to fix it on any thing therein, and all the day I would have lived in sweet intercourse with heaven, and in the contemplations of those divine mysteries; and when my sleeping time came I would have left my heart with God, and when I awoke I would have found it there. There was so much of the spirit of supplication poured out upon me, that I knew not what it was to be straitened when I went to prayer; and when I was swallowed up with spiritual views, nothing could divert my soul from admiring the love of Christ to me, the chief of sinners. When I had opportunity for secret prayer, the veil was as it were rent, and I was allowed, not only access to the throne of grace, but also as it were views of the throne of glory, that carried me so far above my ordinary strength and capacity, that both my body and spirits would have failed before my furniture.
At this time the ordinary subject of and matter of my prayers and meditation was on the covenant of redemption. Oh, here a light shined so brightly that my soul was wrapt up in beholding and admiring this wonderful contrivance of infinite wisdom and love, together with the blessed fruits and effects that descend down in a covenant of grace to a remnant of Adam’s posterity, so that such a vile, poor wretch as I, who by nature am a child of wrath, may by faith go as high as to the roll of election, and there read my name written among the living in Jerusalem; and all this as the sweet fruits of eternal love.
As for wandering thoughts in time of duties, I was not much troubled with them, and in my meditations through the day, if any vain thought or member of the body of death had begun to divert me, I would immediately have gone to God by prayer for a cast of divine power upon my revolting heart, and I would have gotten a present answer.
At this time, I had so great discoveries of God in Christ, with application to myself, and of my interest in Him, and frequently the veil drawn aside, and was allowed such transforming sights of the glory in the duties of prayer and meditation, that I thought I would have been content to live therein to eternity. This far did holy sovereignty return my unreasonable request formerly marked, which was, that God by the power of grace would so renew my heart, and make it act as naturally, as constantly, as fully, as freely, and as unweariedly to move in the ways of holiness as ever it did in the ways of sin. This, I desire to acknowledge, to the praise of sovereign grace, that this request was so answered. And now, one reflection on all this, together with what passed, as a return of this request, which I could neither express by words nor discover it by write.
Here I see and desire to admire another display of that glorious title He hath taken to Himself, the Hearer of Prayer. Oh, poor fool that I am, that hath taken upon me to vent my folly thus; but since God hath manifested His sovereign love to me, who am one of the vilest of Adam’s race, oh, let the glory redound to the praise of His grace, for in none of all these attainments do I desire to glory, but only in a reconciled God through Christ, for a portion to my soul in time and to eternity. This passed in the nineteenth year of my life. Now this pleasant year is ended, which I may call the chief of my years, or one of the years of heaven to me, when compared to the rest of my wilderness life.
(To be continued.)
THAT which effectually teaches us the vanity of this world, and leads us to set our hope in God, cannot but be a rich blessing. An hour of sanctified sorrow is better than a thousand years of sinful mirth. A needful cross is better than a needless comfort.
—Rev. W. S. Plumber, D.D.