A WHILE after, these terrible dreams did leave me, which also I soon forgot, for my pleasures did quickly cut off the remembrance of them as if they had never been. Wherefore with more greediness, according to the strength of nature, I did not loose the reins of my lust and delighted in all transgressions against the law of God; so that, until I came to the state of marriage, I was the very ringleader in all manner of vice and ungodliness. Such prevalency had the lusts of the flesh on my poor soul, that had not a miracle of precious grace prevented, I had not only perished by the stroke of eternal justice, but also laid myself open to the stroke of those laws which bring some to disgrace and shame before the face of the world. In these days the thoughts of religion were very grievous to me. I could neither endure it myself, nor that any other should; so that, when I have seen some read in those books that concerned Christian piety, it would be as it were a prison to me. Then I said unto God, “Depart from me, for I desire not the knowledge of Thy ways.” I was now void of all good consideration. Heaven and Hell were both out of sight and mind; and, as for saving and damning, they were least in my thoughts. “O Lord, thou knowest my life, and my ways are not hid from Thee.” But this I will remember, that though I could myself sin with the greatest delight and ease, yet even then if I had at anytime seen wicked things by those who professed goodness, it would make my spirit tremble. As once above all the rest, when I was in the height of vanity, yet hearing one to swear that was reckoned for a religious man, it had a great stroke upon my spirit that it made my heart ache.—Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners.