II.
(Continued from p. 224.)
HERE two things are to be considered.—I. What following of Christ supposes and implies. II. Wherein Christ is to be followed.
I. What following of Christ supposes and implies.
First, it presupposes life.
A dead man cannot follow any person; a dead preacher cannot follow Christ; there must be a principle of life, spiritual life in him, or else he is nought. Therefore have I said and maintained, that a man cannot be a minister in foro Dei, though he may in foro ecclesiae, without grace in his heart. This is a spiritual following of Christ; and therefore presupposes a spiritual and heavenly principle. Tell me then, O my soul, what state art thou in? Thou wast once dead, that is sure, Eph. ii. 1, dead in trespasses and sins. Art thou raised out of thy grave? Hast thou got a part in the first resurrection? Has Christ breathed on thy dead and dry bones? Or art thou yet void of spiritual life? Art thou rotting away in thine iniquity? What sayest thou to this? If thou be yet dead, thy case is lamentable; but if thou be alive, what signs of life are there to be seen in thee? I have my own doubts of this, because of the prevailing of corruption: therefore, I will see what I can say to this.
1. A man that hath the Spirit hath life.
Rom. viii. 2, 9; but I think I have the Spirit—ergo, I have life. That I have the Spirit, I conclude from these grounds following,—(1.) I have light that aforetime I had not. See John, xiv. 26. “The Comforter shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance whatsoever I have said unto you.” I see now otherwise than once I saw. Once was I blind, but now I see though I see but men as trees. Once was I darkness, but now am I light (though weak) in the Lord. This light makes me see, [1.] My former darkness, the sad and miserable state that once I was in, ignorant of God, Christ, and religion, save going to the church, and keeping from banning and swearing, &c., which I was restrained from from a child. This makes me see my present darkness, I Cor. xiii. 12. How little a portion do I know of thee, O God! My knowledge is but as the twilight. [2.] It lets me see my heart-sins, my imperfections and shortcomings in the best of my duties; so that God might condemn me for them. The hypocrites say, why have we fasted, and thou seest not? &c. Isa. lviii. 3. It lets me see the wanderings of my heart, in duty and out of duty—yea, the sinfulness of the first risings of lust in mine heart, Rom. vii., and is still discovering the baseness of my heart unto me, so that I am forced to think and say, that, at the best, I am unclean, unclean. [3.] It makes me to see Christ precious, 1 Pet. ii. 7, altogether lovely, the chief among ten thousand, preferable to all the world; for whom, if if my heart deceive me not, (Lord, thou knowest!) I would undergo the loss of that which I most esteem in the world. “Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none in earth that I desire besides thee.” For indeed “my heart and flesh faints and fails; but thou art the strength of my heart, O Lord,” Psalm lxxiii. 25, 26. [4.] It lets me see my need of him; so that nothing else but Christ, I am persuaded, can help me. When I have done what I can, I am but an unprofitable servant. If I should do a thousand times more than I do, I count all but loss and dung for the excellency of the knowledge of Jesus Christ my Lord. My soul cries out for thee, O God, and follows hard after thee. [5.] The knowledge that I have of Christ, makes me trust in him in some measure—Psal. ix. 10; though, alas! my evil heart of unbelief creates a great deal of difficulty in that to me. I find Him a present help in the time of trouble; therefore, I endeavour to cast my burden upon Him. I know Him to be a good Master; and, therefore, I lean on Him for help for His own work. I know his grace is sufficient for me; therefore, in temptation and trials, I endeavour to lift up my soul to Him.
(2.) I feel help in duty from the Spirit. I know not what I should pray for; but the Spirit helpeth my infirmities, Rom. viii. 26. Many times I have gone to prayer very dead, and have come away with life; I have gone with a drooping and fainting heart, and come away rejoicing; with a heart closed, and have come away with a heart enlarged, and have felt enlargement both as to words and affections; and this hath made me both thankful and more vile in mine own eyes, that God should have done so with the like of me, 1 Chron. xxix. 13.
2. He that hath sense and feeling hath life.
But I have sense and feeling—therefore, I have life. My sins are a burden to me, (Lord thou knowest,) my omissions and commissions, the sins of my thoughts and of my life, the sins of my youth, i.e., Eph. iv. 19.; Matth. xi. 28; and, above all, that which is my daily trouble, is an evil, backsliding, and base heart, which I find deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked, Jer. xvii. 9. This body of sin and death makes me to groan, and long to be rid of it, Rom. vii. 24. I feel God’s presence, which makes me to rejoice sometimes; at other times again, I feel his absence. Thou, O Lord, hidest thy face, and I am troubled. His smiles are sweet as honey from the comb, and His frowns are bitter as death to my soul, Psal. xxx. 7.
3. He in whom there is heat hath life.
But I have a heat in my soul—therefore, I have life. I find a threefold flame, though weak, in my heart. (1.) A flame of love to Christ, Rom. v. 5. My soul loves Him above all; and I have felt my love to Christ more vigorous within this short while, than for a considerable time before. Lord, put fuel to this flame. I have a love to His truths that I know what God reveals to me of His Word, Psal. cxix. 104. I find sometimes His Word sweeter to me than honey from the comb, Psal. xix. 10. It comforts and supports me. I cannot but love it; it stirs me up, and quickens my soul when dead. I love His commands, though striking against my corruptions, Rom. vii. 22. I love the promises, as sweet cordials to a fainting soul, as life from the dead to one trodden under foot by the apprehensions of wrath, or the prevailing of corruption. I love His threatenings as most just; my soul heartily approves them. If any man love not the Lord Jesus, let him be anathema, maranatha. The least truth, that God makes known to me, I love; and, by grace, would endeavour to adhere to. I love those in whom the image of God does appear; though otherwise mean and contemptible, my heart warms towards them, 1 John, iii. 14. I love His work, and am glad when it thrives, though alas! there is little ground for such gladness now, Rom. i. 7. I love His ordinances, and what bears His stamp, Psal. lxxxiv. 1, though all this be but weak. I love His glory, that He should be glorified, come of me what will. (2.) I find in my heart a flame of desires. [1.] After the righteousness of Christ. My soul earnestly desires to be stript naked of my own righteousness, which is as rags, and to be clothed and adorned with the robe of His righteousness, Matth. v. 6. This wedding garment my soul affects; so shall I be found without spot, when the Master of the feast comes in to see the guests. My soul is satisfied, and acquiesces in justification by an imputed righteousness, though, alas! my base heart would fain have a home-spun garment of its own sometimes. [2.] After communion with Him. When I want it, my soul, though sometimes careless, yet, at other times, cries out, O that I knew where I might find Him! I have found much sweetness in communion with God, especially at the sacrament of the Lord’s Supper, in prayer and meditation, hearing of the Word faithfully and seriously preached, and in preaching it myself, when the candle of the Lord shone on my tabernacle; then was it a sweet exercise to my soul. I endeavour to keep it up when I have it, by watching over my heart, and sending up ejaculations to God. When I want it, I cry to Him for it, though, alas! I have been a long time very careless. Sometimes my soul longs for the day, when my minority shall be over-past, and I be entered heir to the inheritance incorruptible, undefiled, and that fadeth not away; to be quit of this evil world; to be dissolved, and to be with Christ, which is best of all; especially at three times. [1.] When I get more than ordinarily near God, when my soul is satisfied as with marrow and fat, when my heart is nobilitated, and tramples on the world. [2.] When I am wrestling and groaning under the body of sin and death, the evil heart: then fain would I be there, where Satan cannot tempt, and sin cannot enter; yea, when I have been much forsaken, at least as to comfort. [3.] When I preach, and see that the Gospel hath not success, but people are unconcerned, and go on in their abominations. (3.) I find in my heart some heat of zeal for God, which vents itself. [1.] By endeavouring to be active for God in my station. Before I entered on trials, one main motive was to have opportunity to give a testimony against sin, and to see if I could be an instrument to reclaim any soul from its wicked way. This I have, as the Lord enabled me, done, since I was a preacher, testifying against sin freely and plainly, and as earnestly as I could, by grace assisting me, though in weakness. And, Lord, thou knowest that my great desire is to catch men, and to get, for that end, my whole furniture from thee, laying aside my own wisdom. And if I could do this, how satisfying would it be to my soul, that desires to do good to others, though I myself should perish? Therefore, do I not spare this weak body, and, therefore, have I desired never to be idle, but to go unsent-for sometimes. Yet my conscience tells me of much slackness in this point, when I have been in private with people, and have not reproved them as I ought, when they offended, being much plagued with want of freedom in private converse. This I have in the Lord’s strength resolved against, and have somewhat now amended it. [2.] It vents itself in indignation against sin in myself and others. Many times have I thought on that of the apostle, Yea, what revenge! when I have been overcome by a temptation, being content as it were to be revenged on myself, and, as it were, content to subscribe a sentence of condemnation against myself, and so to justify the Lord in his just proceedings against me. And, Lord, do not I hate those that hate thee? am I not grieved with those that rise up against thee? The reproaches cast on thee, have fallen on me, Psal. lxxix. 13. And my heart rises and is grieved, when I see transgressors, that they keep not thy law. [3.] It vents itself in grieving for those things that I cannot help. Lord, thou knowest how weighty the sins of this land have been unto me; how they have lien and do lie somewhat heavy on me; and at this time, in particular, the laxness of many in joining with the people of these abominations, the unfaithfulness of some professors, the lack of zeal for God in not making a more narrow search for the accursed thing in our camp, now when God’s wrath is going out violently against us, and not making an acknowledgment of sins and renewing our national vows, according as our progenitors did, many as it were thinking shame of the Covenant, of whom the Church of Scotland may be ashamed.
4. Growth and motion is an evidence of life.
Psal. xci. 12, 13, 14; I move forward towards heaven, my affections are going out after Christ, and endeavouring to make progress in a Christian walk, I think I discern a growth of these graces in me, 2 Peter, iii. 18. (1.) Of knowledge and acquaintance with Christ. I am more acquainted with Christ and His ways than before. Though I have not such uptakings of Christ as I ought to have, yet I have more than I have had in this respect sometimes before. (2.) A growth of love. If my heart deceive me not, I have found love to Christ within this month more lively and vigorous than before, my soul more affected with His absence from ordinances than ever. (3.) Of faith. I can, I think, trust God more now than before. I have had more experience of His goodness and knowledge of His name; and, therefore, think I can cast my burden on the Lord better than before. But it is easy swimming when the head is held up. Lord, increase my faith. I believe, Lord, help mine unbelief. (4.) Of watchfulness. I have felt the sad effects of unwatchfulness over my heart in times past. I feel the good of watchfulness now; my soul is habitually more watchful than before; neither dare I give such liberty to my heart as sometimes I gave. Yet for all this the Lord may well complain of me, that He is broken with my whorish heart. But, Lord, thou knowest, it is also breaking to my self that it is so. The Lord seal these things to me. (5.) Of contempt of the world, which, blessed be God, is on the increase with me.
Secondly, Following of Christ implies a knowledge of the way that Christ took.
No man can follow the example of another, as such, unless he know what way He lived. So neither can any man follow Christ with respect to the catching of men in particular, unless he know Christ’s way of catching souls—that is, so far as it may be followed by us. Acquaint then thyself, O my soul, with the history of the gospel, wherein this appears, and take special notice of these things, that thou mayest follow Christ. What a sad case must they be in that are not acquainted with this!
Thirdly, It supposes sense of weakness, and the need of a guide.
A man that knows a way, and can do well enough without a guide, needs not follow another. And surely the want of this is the reason why many run before Christ, and go farther than His example ever called them; and others take a way altogether different from Christ’s way, which is the product of their own conceited hearts and airy heads. But thou, O my soul, acknowledge thyself as a child in these matters, that cannot go unless it be led; as a stranger in a desert place, that cannot keep the right way without a guide. Acknowledge and be affected with thine own weakness and emptiness, which thou mayest well be persuaded of. And for this end reflect seriously, 1. On that word, 2 Cor. ii. 16,—Who is sufficient for these things? No man is of himself sufficient; even the greatest of men come short of sufficiency. This may make thee then to be affected with insufficiency, who are so far below these men, as shrubs are below the tall cedars; and yet they cannot teach it of themselves. 2. Consider the weight of the work, even of preaching, which is all that thou hast to do now. It is the concern of souls. By the foolishness of preaching it pleases the Lord to save them that believe. To preach in the Spirit, in the power and demonstration thereof, is no easy matter. Thy pitiful gifts will not fit thee for this. 3. Reflect on what thou art, when God is pleased to desert thee; how then thou tuggest and rowest, but it will not do, either in studying or delivering sermons. I think thou hast had as much of this as may teach thee to beware of taking thy burden on thy own soul, but to cast it on the Lord. 4. Consider what a small portion thou knowest of God. When thou art at the best, and when thou art in thy meridian, yet how low art thou? and how far short thou comest of what thou shouldst be. Lastly, consider, that though thou hadst gifts like an angel, yet thou canst not convert a soul, unless Christ be with thee to do the work. Therefore, acknowledge thyself a weak creature, insufficient for the work; and go not out in thy own strength, but in the name of the Lord; and so although thou be but as a stripling, thou mayest be helped to cast down the great Goliaths that defy the armies of the living God.
(To be continued.)