(Continued from page 117.)
When we were come to the place where the three fellows were hanged, he said that he doubted that that would be his end also. Only he seemed glad when he saw the Cross and the Sepulchre. There I confess he desired to stay a little to look; and he seemed for a while after to be a little cheery. When he came at the Hill Difficulty, he made no stick at that, nor did he fear the lions: for you must know that his trouble was not about such things as those; his fear was about his acceptance at last. I got him in at the house beautiful, I think before he was willing. Also when he was in, I brought acquainted with the damsels of the place; but he was ashamed to make himself much for company. He desired much to be alone; yet he always loved good talk, and often would get behind the screen to hear it. He also loved much to see the ancient things, and to be pondering them in his mind. He told me afterwards that he loved to be in those two houses from which he came last, to wit, at the gate, and that of the Interpreter, but that he durst not be so bold to ask.
When we went also from the house Beautiful, down the hill into the Valley of Humiliation, he went down as well as ever I saw a man in my life; for he cared not how mean he was, so he might be happy at last. Yea, I think there was a kind of sympathy betwixt that valley and him; for I never saw him better in all his pilgrimage than when he was in this valley. Here he would lie down, embrace the ground, and kiss the very flowers that grew in the valley. He would now be up every morning by break of day, tracing and walking to and fro in this valley.
But when he was come to the entrance of the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I thought I should have lost my man: not for that he had any inclination to go back; that he always abhorred; but he was ready to die for fear. Oh the hobgoblins will have me! the hobgoblins will have me! cried he; and I could not beat him out on’t. He made such a noise, and such an outcry here, that had they but heard him, ’twas enough to encourage them to come and fall upon us. But this I took very great notice of, that this valley was as quiet when he went through it, as ever I knew it before or since. I suppose those enemies here had now a special check from our Lord, and a command not to meddle until Mr. Fearing was passed over it.
It would be tedious to tell you all; we will, therefore, mention only a passage or two more. When he was come at Vanity Fair, I thought he would have fought with all the men in the Fair. I feared he should both have been knocked on the head so hot was he against their fooleries. Upon the Enchanted Ground he was very wakeful. But when he was come to the river where there was no bridge, there he was in a heavy case. Now, now, he said, he would be drowned for ever and so never see that face in comfort that he had come so many miles to behold. And there I took notice of what was very remarkable; the water of the river was lower at this time than ever I saw in all my life, so he went over at last not much above wet shod. When he was going up to the gate Mr. Greatheart began to take leave of him and to wish him a good reception above, so he said I shall! I shall! Then parted we asunder and I saw him no more. Honest: Then it seems he was well at last. Greatheart: Yes yes! I never had a doubt about him. He was of a choice spirit, only he was always kept very low and that made his life so burdensome to himself and so troublesome to others. He was above many tender of sin; he was so afraid of doing injuries to others that he would often deny himself that which was lawful because he would not offend.
Honest: But what should be the reason that such a good man all days should be in the dark?
Greatheart: There are two sorts of reasons for it. One is, the wise God will have it so: some must pipe and some must weep. Now Mr. Fearing was one that played on the bass. He and his fellows sound the sackbut whose notes are more doleful than the notes of other music are. Though some say, the bass is the ground of music. I care not at all for that profession that begins not in heaviness of mind. The first string that the musician usually touches is the bass when he intends to put all in tune. God also plays on this string first when He sets the soul in tune for Himself. Only there was the imperfection of Mr. Fearing he could play upon no other music but this, till towards his latter end.
I make bold to talk thus metaphorically for the ripening the wits of young readers, and because in the Book of the Revelation the saved are compared to a company of musicians that play upon their trumpets and harps and sing their songs before the throne.
Honest: He was a very zealous man as one may see by the relation you have given of him. Difficulties, lions, nor Vanity Fair he feared not all; ’twas only sin, death and hell, that were to him a terror, because he had some doubts about his interest in that celestial country. . . . I dare believe that the proverb is he could have fit a firebrand had it stood in his way but the things with which he was oppressed no man yet could shake off with ease.”