Be Courteous. (Extract from the writings of GEORGE SWINNOCK, Puritan Divine.)

It is a divine command, “Be courteous” (I Peter iii. 8); the word signifieth friendly-minded, studious to do such things as are grateful to others. Obedience to this command is cheap, and costeth nothing, which whosoever denieth will certainly never obey those precepts which will put him to charge. He who denieth men a good look, will not at God’s call lay down his life for the gospel.

As thy duty is to be righteous and courteous, so also to be meek in thy dealings with men. Courtesy is a good servant, to wait upon meekness as its master. Both together are no small credit to a professor. He that is highest in godliness is fullest of meekness. The purest gold is soonest melted, and they are usually the best blades that will bend well. The lion of Judah for courage, was a lamb for condescension. The saint must learn of his Saviour to be meek and lowly in heart. The passionate man is one of Lucifer’s disciples, and followeth him in his fall from heaven. This meekness (I speak of it in relation to man as its object) is a virtue by which we moderate our passions, and keep them in subjection, lest we should wrong our neighbours.

Patience is sister to meekness, and humility is its mother. The passions of our minds are like the winds in the air; if they lie still, the ship must lie still too, or at least make but small speed; if they be too boisterous, they endanger the dashing the vessel upon a rock, or casting it upon the quicksands; but when they blow moderately, between a still calm and a violent storm, they are most helpful to the mariners. Our affections are of no use if they be suffered to sleep, and do not rise at all; for then, though the name of God himself be shot at, they will not hear the murdering piece. Such meekness is worse than mopishness. God did not give the soul these wings in vain.

On the other side, if our affections are tempestuous, and rise too high, they threaten to overturn both ourselves and our neighbours. A passionate man is, like the torrid zone, too hot for any to deal with him or to dwell near him. The work therefore of meekness is to keep the affections within their bounds; so to moderate this fire that it may warm, not flame out to burn itself and others. He that is inebriated with passion is unfit for any action; like Samson’s foxes, he scattereth firebrands abroad, to the hurt of all that are near him. Alexander, in his anger, flies upon his best friend; Parmenio himself must perish by that wild fire; Cato’s best emperor was he qui potuit imperare affectus, that could keep his own passions in subjection. When one said he was a wise kind that was kind to his friends, and sharp to his enemies; another said he was a wiser prince that could retain his friends in love and make his enemies like them. The Spirit of God gives us a mark to know a wise and noble man by; “Who is a wise man and indued with knowledge amongst you? Let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom” (James iii. 13).

Two particulars offer themselves to our view out of this verse.

1. That meekness is a sign of a wise man. The world counts them only the brave spirits that scorn to suffer the least affront and who will repay a single injury with double interest; but these in God’s accounts are fools. What a fool is he that suffereth (his passion) that which should be his servant to become his master and to tyrannise over him? What a fool is he that, perceiving a musket discharged, will not stoop a little or fall down a while to avoid the bullet but keep his place and height to the loss of his life? Truly, such a fool is he that will never yield to another’s wrath. Is not he a fool that, seeing a fire in his neighbour’s house, anger in his neighbour’s heart, is so far from helping to quench it by the water of mildness that he throweth more fuel on it, and increaseth its flame, even to the burning down of his own? Is not he a fool that ventureth his inestimable soul at every trifling cast and runneth headlong upon the greatest hazards? Surely it is not without reason the wise man speaks so often of a fool’s wrath and that anger resteth in the bosom of fools (Prov. xxvii. 3, and xvii. 12, etc.). “A wise man deferreth his anger lest it burn with too hot a flame” (Prov. xxix. 11). He will draw back the brands lest the fire, exceeding its bounds, should consume him. How many have been thrown, nay, utterly overthrown, by laying the reins upon the neck of their brutish passions when their persons would have been safe had but their passions been curbed! Charles the Sixth, king of France, was mad for anger and desire of revenge on the Duke of Brittany. Excess of wrath cost Ajax his life, if the poet may be believed. Sylla, in the height of fury, vomited up his blood and his breath together, saith the historian. When such winds blow, they raise black and dark clouds. A furious man hath few friends; like Ishmael, his hand is against every man, and every man’s hand is against him. The heron’s name in Hebrew signifieth to be angry, and it is observed scarce any fowl hath so many foes: the eagle preyeth upon her; the fox catcheth her in the night: the hawk destroyeth her eggs. How foolish is the bee that loseth her life and her sting together! She puts another to a little pain, but how dearly doth she pay for it!

The greatest conquest is to overcome ourselves and the vilest bondage to be our own slaves (Prov. xvi. 32). He that is most mild, is most manly. It sullied the glory of all Caesar’s valour and victories that he was his own vassal. It is the glory of a man to pass by offences. Those dogs which were presented to Alexander by the king of Albany were counted the best in the world, and upon this account, because they were so noble as not to stir at all when small beasts were brought to encounter them; and through an overflowing of courage would never fight save with lions and elephants. Those men, without question, are far from true worth, and most ignoble, who upon every supposed petty wrong, fly to the common law, or civil war, for revenge. By the laws of England a nobleman hath this privilege that he cannot be bound to the peace, because it is supposed that a noble person will scorn to engage himself in quarrels, but keep the peace without a bond. It is the base and vile bramble, the fruit of the earth’s curse, that teareth and renteth what is next it.

Plutarch reports of a falling out between two famous philosophers, Aristippus and Æschines, and how, after some time, Aristippus went to Æschines, saying, Shall we not be friends before we be a table-talk to all the town? Yea, with all my heart, saith Æschines. Remember then, saith Aristippus, that though I am your elder, yet I sued for peace. True, replied the other, I acknowledge you the better and worthier man; for I began the strife, but you the peace. In this pagan glass many Christians may see their own deformities; for even heathen agree with Scripture in this first particular, that they are most wise and prudent who are most meek and peaceable.

1. The other which floweth from the forementioned verse is, that the Christian’s meekness must be mixed with wisdom. The apostle calls it meekness of wisdom; meekness opposeth fury in our own quarrel, not zeal in God’s cause. The same Spirit that appeared in the form of a dove appeared also in the form of fiery tongues. It may be my duty to be silent when I am wronged, but it is sinful not to speak when God is reproached. Though I may compound for my own debts, yet I have no power to compound for another’s. It is a singular mark of a saint to be wet tinder when men strike fire at himself, and touchwood when men strike at God. The meekest man upon the face of the earth was the fullest of fury in the cause of heaven (Num. xii. 2; Exod. xxxii.). A skilful musician knoweth when to strike a string of a lower sound, when of a higher. A wise Christian knoweth when to abate, when to increase, his heats.

Naturalists observe of bees that they will ordinarily suffer any prejudice when they are far from their hives, and their own particular is only concerned; but when they are near their hives, that their commonwealth is engaged in their combats, they are furious, and will lose their lives, or conquer. Thy work, O Christian, is not to abate the last of God’s due, but to pocket up many private injuries, and to forgive thy personal debts. Be not like some, as cold in God’s cause as if they had neither sense nor life; and as hot in their own, as if their work were to make good the opinion of Democritus, that the soul is of the nature of fire, nothing else but a hot subtle body, dispersing itself into fiery atoms. Excess of fury is a spiritual frenzy, and it is ill for them who come within the biting of such mad beasts.

I have read of Themistocles, that, having a house to let, he pasted on the door, Here is a house to be hired, that hath a good neighbour. It is a great comfort to dwell by a pious and meek person, but no small cross to live near the peevish and passionate. A meek man is a good neighbour in these respects. For,

1. He is so far from wronging others that he will forgive those that wrong him. He is not only contrary to them who, like furious curs, fall upon every one that passeth by, without the least cause, but also if he be wronged, he never studieth revenge, though he may seek sometimes for justice. The world hath learned of the devil to offer injuries, and he hath learned of God to suffer injuries. He dares not usurp God’s throne, but leaves his cause to the judge of all men (Lev. xix. 18). He knoweth also that good men must have their grains of allowance; and children of the same father are too prone to quarrel, therefore he beareth both with the bad and the good; with the former for Christ’s sake, with the latter because they are Christ’s seed. Now such a one is a good neighbour. Calvin said, though Luther should call him Satan, yet he would honour Luther as a faithful servant of God. It is reported of Cato, that when a rash, bold fellow struck him in the bath, and some time after came to ask him pardon, he had forgot that he had been injured, Melius putavit non agnoscere, quam ignoscere, saith Seneca. He scorned to approach so near revenge, as acknowledge that he had been wronged. It is below a generous moralist to take notice of petty affronts; he kills such slimy worms by trampling on them. The Christian, upon a better consideration, destroyeth those vermin with the foot of contempt. He hath experience what millions of pounds are forgiven him by God, and therefore out of gratitude cannot but pardon some few pence to man: “Forgiving one another, as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” (Eph. iv. 32). He knoweth that he needeth favour from others for his offences against them; he doth not always walk so carefully, but some time or other he hath bespattered those that went near him, and it is but just that he should allow that pardon which he expecteth (Eccles. vii. 21, 22; Tit. iii. 2, 3): “Showing all meekness towards all men; for we ourselves were sometimes foolish, living in malice, and envy, hateful, and hating one another.” The Laedaeonians were wont to pray in their public service that the gods would enable them to bear private wrongs with patience.

2. A meek person will part with much of his right to buy his peace. Where he may not wrong his family too much, nor dishonour his God, he will yield far to preserve or purchase a friend. Though his privilege be superior, yet he can be contented to hold the stirrup to others, and give them place. Abraham was the elder and the nobler man, yet he offereth Lot his choice of the country, and was willing to take what he would leave.

(To be continued.)