Forsaking all for Christ and His Gospel

Preached 17th March 1918, by the late
REV. DONALD MACFARLANE, Dingwall.

Text:—”Then Peter began to say unto Him, Lo, we have left all, and followed Thee, And Jesus answered and said, Verily I say unto you, there is no man that has left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife or children, or lands, for My sake and the Gospel’s, but he shall receive an hundredfold now in this time, houses and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and lands, with persecutions, and in the world to come eternal life.”

—(Mark x. 28 to 30).

In this chapter we have an account of a man that came running to Jesus, and kneeled to Him, and asked Him what he should do to inherit eternal life. As it was by doing he expected to inherit eternal life, Jesus brought the moral law before him—”Thou knowest the Commandments—Do not commit adultery, do not kill, do not steal, do not bear false witness, defraud not, honour thy father and mother.” He answered, and said unto Him—”Master all these have I observed from my youth.” He was outwardly circumspect in his obedience to the law, especially to the second table of it, in which our duty to our neighbour is set forth. Jesus, knowing that he trusted to his own good conduct as a ground of salvation, tested him as to his sincerity in desiring eternal life. He was a rich man, and Jesus asked him to part with his riches. “Go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in Heaven.” He did not stand the test: he preferred his riches to eternal life. If you saw a man seemingly so earnest to inherit eternal life as this man was, you would say that he was on his way to heaven, but he was not. This man turned away from the Saviour, grieved, for he had great riches. He was grieved because he was asked to part with his riches, because he preferred his riches to Jesus and eternal life. It was in this connection that Peter, who was present, and probably the other disciple, said:—”Lo, we have left all and followed Thee.” Jesus told him that in following Him, all they left would be made more than up to them. It was not that he might get eternal life by obedience

that Jesus called his attention to it, but that he might see the impossibility of salvation by that way—”For by the works of the law no flesh shall be justified in the sight of God.”

In speaking from our text we shall notice:—

1. That there are times when it is a duty to forsake lawful things for Christ and the Gospel.

2. The promise that Christ gives to those who leave all things in order to follow Him.

3. The Duty.—It is always the duty of those who would follow Christ to forsake sin, but it is sometimes the duty of those who would follow Him to forsake those things that are lawful for them to have. It is lawful enough for us to have a house to dwell in, and friends to associate with, such as brethren, sisters, fathers, mothers, wives, children, and lands, but when these come in competition with following Christ, we are bound to forsake them. In the history of the Church, there were times when the Lord’s people did this, while others did not. At the time of the Disruption in 1843, the evangelical ministers, to the number of over 400 left their manses and churches for Christ and the Gospel. Many ministers acted at that time like the rich man referred to, stuck to their manses and churches, and forsook Christ and His gospel. The wife of one of the ministers that did not forsake all for Christ and the Gospel saw a great multitude passing the Established Church to hear the Gospel preached in the open field, and began to mourn at the sight. Her husband asked her why was she mourning. She told the reason. He then asked her—”Do you see them carrying the manse on their backs.” She answered, no. “Then,” he said, “all is right with us.” There is a terrible blight on the Established Church since the Disruption, and they have been ever since going down hill and drifting away to idolatry. The most of the people of Scotland came out and followed the evangelical ministers, and in the Highlands especially very few remained with the ministers that preferred the temporalities to Christ and His Gospel.

In 1893 the same test was put on the Free Church that came out at the Disruption, and of all the ministers in the Free Church, it was only two that stood the test. There was a godly man in Strathspey, named William Grant, who predicted that there would be another Disruption in the Free Church. After speaking to the Question at Moy on the Friday of a Communion, he asked leave to speak again, which was readily agreed to. He said that since he sat down it was revealed to him that this would be the last Communion he would be at in this world, and that there was something on his mind that he wished to tell them before he died, and that was that there would be another Disruption in the Free Church, and that of all the ministers in the Church only two would follow Christ and the Gospel, and that if he were to live he would be with them. When we made a stand in defence of the Truth, it was told to a man who had heard

William Grant’s prediction, that the Disruption he predicted took place. The man said that if there were more than two ministers it could not be the Disruption predicted by William Grant. He was told that there were only two ministers, and then he said he believed it was what William Grant spoke of. It was lawful enough for the two ministers to have churches and manses, but they left these for the sake of Christ and His Gospel. The ministers and the people who followed them parted not only with churches and manses, but also with friends and near relations with whom they were formerly associated. Families were divided, some followed the Truth, and others followed error. This was foretold by our Saviour when He said—”Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter-in-law against the mother-in-law—’He that loveth father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me, and he that loveth son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he that taketh not up his cross, and followeth after Me, is not worthy of Me’—” (Matt. x 34-38). We were blamed for causing division in families—it was Christ’s work. He kept some to His Truth, and permitted others to forsake the Truth. There was good reason for the Disruption that took place in 1893. This was acknowledged by some who failed to stand in defence of the Truth when the trial came. When errors were coming to a height in the Free Church, Dr Aird, of Creich, said that the cause of Disruption in 1843 was small as compared with the cause we have now to separate for from the so-called Free Church. It was only one doctrine that was denied in 1843, but now all the fundamental doctrines of the Bible were either ignored or denied: but when the Trial came, Dr. Aird remained in the Church which he so strongly condemned.

1. The promise that Christ gives to those who leave all things for His sake and for the sake of the Gospel—”They shall receive an hundredfold now in this time, houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children and lands, with persecution; and in the world to come eternal life.” This was amply fulfilled to those spoken of as coming out in 1843. If they left churches and manses, they were provided with other churches and manses instead, so that at last they had more of these buildings than they left for conscience sake. If they parted with their fellow-men, the Lord raised up many friends to them throughout the country, and the Gospel preached was blessed to many, and found its way to some parts of the Highlands where it was not preached before, especially by the ministers who were settled there.

The promise was also fulfilled to us as a Church. We left two manses and two churches, and now we have many such buildings, and many Godly men and women, the most of whom are now in Glory, joined our Church. Before a door was opened to them in 1893, they were groaning in bondage, but as soon as the door was

opened they rushed out from their state of bondage into true liberty. We have no hesitation in saying that the best of the people in the Free Church followed us. A United Free Church minister in the Highlands stated from the pulpit that the praying people left them. There was great warmth of brotherly love in our Church then, and although we came out without a penny of funds, our people contributed willingly and liberally for the support of their ministers and missionaries, and as the ministers increased in number, our funds increased in proportion. The Lord also acknowledged our testimony by the outpouring of His spirit to convert sinners, and to refresh and build believers in the faith. Christ foretells that His people should have all these temporal blessings with persecutions:—”They that live Godly in this life shall have persecution.” Persecution is a light thing in comparison with having Christ and the Gospel and a clear conscience. The Free Church was for many years persecuted for the stand she made for God’s truth, and we also were persecuted for the same reason. We were persecuted by those in the Free Church who failed to do their duty when the time of trial came. The law of the country would not allow them to put us in prison, or to kill us, but they did all in their power against us. They deprived us of our churches and manses. This was done by the so-called constitutionalists and the voluntaries. What kept those who did not come out with us? It was the ecclesiastical property and lack of faith in God to provide for them in His good providence. One of their ministers speaking to the late Mr. Archibald Crawford, Tighnabraich, said to him:—”How foolish the ministers who left their churches and manses and salaries were.” Mr. Crawford said to him:—”It would be very foolish of you to leave your church and manse and salary, for these are the only things you can expect to have, but those whom you reckon foolish shall have eternal life in the world to come.” There is a mark of God’s displeasure on the now Free Church for their failing to stand in defence of the Truth, as we did. Not only that, there is no appearance of sinners being converted in her, but her ministers who were reckoned eloquent in preaching before are said to have lost their gift of preaching. A Godly man who went to hear some of them on a Communion occasion said that there was a marked difference in their gift of preaching from what it was when he heard them years before.

This is the Church we are now asked to unite with. The proposal for Union is made not only by that Church, but also by three ministers in our own Church. Should there not be anything else to prevent us from uniting with the now so-called Free Church but that she has Dr. Alexander as one of her Professors, it would be enough. That man wrote a book called “Demonic Possession,” in which he denies the testimony of Scripture on the subject of some men having been possessed with devils. In the Gospel according to Luke, it is recorded that when Jesus went forth to land there met Him a certain man who had devils a long time, and wore no clothes, neither abode in any

house, but in the tombs. The devils in the man asked Jesus if He cast them out of the man to allow them to enter into a herd of swine that were feeding on the mountains. Jesus granted their request, and when they entered into the swine, the swine ran violently down a steep place into the lake, and were choked and drowned. Dr. Alexander denies that the devils entered into the swine, and he asks the question—”What made them run violently into the lake? And answers—”It was the yell of the madman that frightened them, and not the devils in them. Then he says that the swine were not drowned, and the reason he gives is that swine are good swimmers; and supposing that some of them were drowned, the Gadareans might not be so clamorous about their loss because those of the swine that were drowned would be washed ashore, and that their carcasses would make a good ham. This is the kind of rubbish that is to be found in Dr. Alexander’s book. After reading it, it left me sick for days. This is the book we mentioned in another sermon that a Free Churchman said he found useful in teaching a Sabbath School. Notwithstanding Dr. Alexander’s heresy, the Rev. J. R. Mackay, Inverness, in his pamphlet advocating Union with the Free Church, states that Dr. Alexander, in his teaching, is one of the soundest men in Scotland! Not only that, Mr. Mackay says so, but the Free Church say it also. Mr. Mackay, in past years, was one of the severest critics of the Free Church, especially for having Dr. Alexander as one of her professors, and it looks very strange that after all he had said that he is now shielding what he was condemning before. “How are the mighty fallen?”—(II Sam. 1. 19).

It would be very ungrateful on our part, after all the good that God did to us in the past as a Church, to forsake the position we had taken up in defence of His truth in order to unite with a Church that proved unfaithful to God in many respects. We shall not do it. My own opinion is, that when the ministers who are for the Union shall find that their unjust efforts to cause division in our Church shall be in vain, that they shall leave our Church, and go over to the Church in which their hearts are even now. We are taunted with the guilt of schism if we refuse to unite with the Free Church, but it is not we who are guilty of that sin, but those who agitate for the proposed Union. The word schism is always used in Scripture to mean division within the Church, and not a division between denominations. Some say that if we refuse to unite, we are, according to the formula which ministers and office-bearers have to sign at their ordination, guilty of schism, but there is not such a thing in the formula at all. We promised not to follow any divisive course from the doctrine, worship, discipline, government, and exclusive jurisdiction of this Church, and we keep to that.

Although the movement for Union causes much trouble in our Church, we believe it shall work for our good. We shall come out of the ordeal refined “as silver is refined, and tried as gold is tried,”

while those who trouble us shall be chastised before they leave this world. We believe Satan is at the root of the movement for Union. Some may say—If so, how could some of the greatest ministers in our Church be doing the work of the evil one? In answer to this, I mention what a man of God said. He said that when Satan goes out for a ride he takes the best horse he can get. Aaron was a great man of God, but he took a prominent part in making the golden calf. Satan took him as his horse to ride upon when he made the people begin idolatry. Because the ministers who are for Union made their intentions public, we speak publicly to warn our people. I need not warn my own congregation. So far as I know, they are opposed to the proposed Union, and I believe that all the congregations of our Church are opposed to it also, with the exception of a few individuals. Scripture speaks strongly against those who cause divisions. “Now I beseech you brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them”—(Rom. xvi. 17).

Although we do not wish the people of our Church to avoid the ministers who are for Union in shunning them on the road, yet we believe that they shall avoid them in this sense, namely, that they will not go to hear them. All the Unions that have taken place in our day have been for the worse, which should be a warning to us. Churches which have gone astray should hearken to God’s voice in the following passage of Scripture:—”Thus saith the Lord, stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls”—(Jer. vi. 16).

In refusing to join the Free Church, we are called Separatists, but we are not so, for Separatists were a class that would not go to hear any minister, while we have ministers in our Church who preach the Gospel to the people, and the people appreciate their services.

Mr. Mackay, in his pamphlet, says that while we find fault with the Free Church for remaining under the Declaratory Act for seven or eight years, we ourselves remained under it for one year. We did so because the Constitutionalists said that they would make an effort at next Assembly to rescind the Act, but the Act was not rescinded, and we remained no longer under it. But although the Free Church remained under the Act for seven or eight years, they made no effort for the rescinding of the Act, and Mr. Mackay takes no notice of this difference. In support of his advocacy for Union, he quotes largely from the writings of our Presbyterian fathers concerning the unity of the Church, but the time of these fathers was different from our time. It was then a time of building up the Church, but our time is a time of declension, so that it is our duty to hold fast the position that we have taken up in defence of the Truth. Although our Church is not called the Free Church, but the Free Presbyterian Church, yet

we are the true representatives of the Free Church of 1843. At the Reformation from Episcopacy, the Presbyterian Church was called the Free Presbyterian Church.

In this sermon we have only touched on some points in Mr. Mackay’s pamphlet, but we may, God Willing, refer to the subject more fully afterwards. Amen.

God’s Sovereignty in the Lives of Twin Brothers.*

Chapter 1

It was at the end of the seventeenth century that a poor widow lived in the low quarter of the town of H. in South Holland, a province of the Netherlands. Her family name we do not know, but she was known all over as the “Sulphur-woman.” How did she acquire that name? You must know that in those days people did not yet have matches, but not one family lacked a sulphur stick. In those times this sulphur stick was usually called by the old Dutch word of “Solferpriem.” The widow’s daily work was making these solferpriems. She would also sell them to the various homes, by which she earned a scanty morsel of bread. She divided this faithfully with her only child.

They were very difficult days for the widow when she had to put sulphur on the hempsticks, and many a cough and sigh was then heard from her. She was poor, but honest, and would sometimes say, “Rather dead than to be a penny in debt.” The poor soul did not have the least impression of what would follow after death. She was brought up as the foal of an ass, and walked in such a way until the end came.

The widow’s only child, her Nellie, was the apple of her eye, her idol. And no wonder, for the child was as beautiful as a polished image, and this appeared to be more so as the child grew and developed. She thereby possessed an excellent sweetness which made her very attractive to many a young man, so that soon many eyes were fixed upon her. This was a very great joy for her mother, but the woman did not realize that just in such a way her child would be carried towards a dangerous precipice.

The beautiful little girl was soon obliged to help her mother in her business, although she did not want the girl to help her with the burning of the sulphur as she was afraid that this would mar her beauty. It was given no thought that the child should be educated; she must go along to earn a living. Every morning she left the house with a load of sulphur sticks, and as she departed, her mother would watch her go with pride and great pleasure until she couldn’t see her any more.

* This has been translated into English and published by Rev. J. Van Zweden, Rock Valley, Iowa; copies to be had from him.—Editor.

This delusive happiness did not last very long, however. When Nellie had reached the age of twenty-two years, she was married to a man who led a licentious life and who deserted her when she was about to become a mother. Nellie was then obliged to return to the parental home. The old sulphur-woman now became the executioner of her idol. She could not get over the fact that her daughter had caused her this trouble, and many curses at times flowed over her lips.

Nellie became a mother by giving birth to twin sons, although she lost her own life in the birth of these children. Desperate and despondent, the old woman stood by the corpse of her daughter, while she saw herself burdened with the care of two children, who by their birth were not only deprived of their mother but also of a mother’s milk. They were two strong boys, real Esau’s, because they both came hairy into this world.

After a while, the old woman became resigned to her lot and tried to bring up the children as good as possible under her circumstances. When the twins began to grow up they proved to be very good-looking boys, like their mother, but they both revealed the true Esau’s disposition. They were a terror for the neighbors and for their fellow citizens, and it was a wonder that they did not fall into the hands of justice, because the one was really as clever as the other in committing all kinds of wickedness. It was their only lust to commit evil.

It was a deliverance for the widow when the twins enlisted in the army as drummers at the age of sixteen. It was no less a great deliverance for the old woman to be relieved of the young wild asses, although she did not live long after this. The sulphur-woman went the way of all flesh, no one mourned over her death, and she was soon forgotten. Her life was full of misery, and her death no less so.

We are inclined to say, was the life of this woman, and no less that of her child, without a purpose? How much darkness in the dealings of God with His creatures! Some would ask, why did these people live upon this earth? It was, however, thus appointed in the eternal counsel of an all-wise God. And although we only look at the outward appearance, it is very clear from Scripture and experience that God performs His own will, and that His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts.

Those two wild asses had to come into the world, and the Prince of darkness took possession of them. He has a right to do so, as he has with every human creature, because we freely have given ourselves unto him in Adam. We have closed our heart to God, and opened it for Satan. How bitter and terrible are the fruits thereof! It certainly is true that the devil has great power, but there is One, however, Who is stronger than he. If He comes with dyed garments from Bozrah, Who is red in His apparel as one that treads in the wine-fat and Who is mighty to deliver, then the hellish lion may roar and snort, but it will be in vain; he must let his prey go, because the Lord

Jesus has received such a chosen creature already in eternity as His possession. He has bought such a soul with His blood, and he has allowed Satan to possess it only for a while.

Chapter 2

The two brothers then left home and went into the wide world. There was something special about them, that seldom appears. They were twins, as we know, and resembled each other like two drops of water. They both had handsome, well formed features, black curly hair, and a pair of dark brown eyes that moved fiercely in their sockets and gave a less pleasant expression to their countenance. This extraordinary resemblance aroused admiration in all that met them. When they had to submit to an examination, this drew so much attention that they were both examined at the same time. The health officer had to state that their whole bodies resembled each other perfectly, but that Bert had a birthmark on his chest which was not found on Bart.

This strong resemblance was often a cause of much confusion, while occasionally it served them to commit this or that prank, which, however, was not at all times without guilt.

When they got older and they would relate what they had experienced at various times, then usually some of these things were brought on the carpet. We remember now the incident which Bert told us, that happened in a city of France. They wished to have their dinner in a certain restaurant, but their money was not sufficient to pay for a meal for both of them. What did they do? Bert entered the Coffee House and seated himself at a table. When he had eaten his fill, a young boy came into the room and said that Bert was called by an officer to come outside. Bert arose, left his table, and disappeared for a moment, after which Bart entered the room bare-headed and seated himself at the table. They both ate until they were filled. The deceit was not noticed by the waiter; he only remarked that it seemed to him that the drummer had an extraordinary big stomach.

In a word, they were a pair of brutes, who did not know anything about God and His Commandments. They only knew the name of God to misuse it awfully, which was accompanied with debauchery and wickedness.

We would be inclined to say that the history of these two brothers has not the least attraction. And we certainly would have to acknowledge this if we did not know how the wonderful Lord glorified Himself in the greatest and basest sinner, which shall be evident as we continue this narrative.

In some short instances we will relate something of the course of their life, which will make clear how the Lord God protects and keeps the wicked.

After the twin brothers had enlisted, they were soon accepted in the French army. The French reigned over Holland at that time. They

were participants of that fatal expedition or march of Napoleon to Moscow in Russia, but which was such a great blessing for whole Europe. When that chord was touched in later time, then their mouths were filled with the accounts of the bloody and pitiful sights they had seen there, where thousands of strong, young men, also of our nation, had lost their lives.

When Napoleon’s army came near to Moscow, only to find a vast sea of fire, (as we know, the Russians set fire to the city), the French army, pursued by the enemies, made their retreat. Every one that was able to, hastened to flee away. Also Bert and Bart cast off all that hindered them, and through the snow covered plains they raced forth as fast as they could until they reached the bank of the Beresina River. Unable to proceed any farther because of sheer exhaustion, they tried to hide themselves under the bridge which spanned the river. This attempt was not successful, however, as the Russians soon noticed them. They were made prisoners, but their exact resemblance was the cause in the Lord’s hand that their life was not only spared, but also that their imprisonment was not as severe as that of their companions. They were not at ease in that awful North, however, and they devised means to escape. In this they succeeded, although it was in the face of many dangers. The Lord had protected and spared them, but they did not acknowledge Him, because they did not know Him.

After much weariness they finally entered their fatherland, where they soon were accepted in the army again.

We will not follow the twin brothers on their different campaigns, or marches, but will only inform the reader now that they were in the army when the battle of Waterloo was fought also. The flying lead had spared them so very often, while they beheld thousands falling on their right and on their left. In this terrible battle, however, they were both wounded. Bart’s leg was struck by a bullet, and he laid upon the battlefield in great pain. His body was wounded, but his heart remained as hard as a stone, and under the most terrible curses he was carried to the ambulance. As the bullet was lodged in the muscle of his leg, it was easy to remove it, and after a short period he could leave the field-hospital again.

Bert was also hit. A bullet had brushed past his head, taking his right ear along. When one of his companions saw this, he said, “So mate! that bullet just about got you this time.

Bert did not answer him, but was quiet and in serious thought. For the first time in his life the thought of what would follow after death, came into his mind. He also was taken to the field-hospital, but as his wound was not very serious he enjoyed the liberty of going into the open air now and then.

It was on a certain afternoon that he came to a small house, very poor in appearance. He entered it, and asked for a little water to drink. The old resident satisfied his request in a very friendly manner,

and asked him about his wound. Bert told her exactly what had happened, upon which the old woman said, “Well, my boy, the Lord then had no pleasure yet in your death. If the bullet would have struck you in the head, you suddenly would have appeared before the Judge of heaven and earth.”

Bert did not answer, but it was as if he was drenched with cold water. His whole body shivered. A restlessness, which he never knew before, took possession of him. Continually the words of the old woman resounded in his heart: “THE JUDGE OF HEAVEN AND EARTH! THE JUDGE OF HEAVEN AND EARTH!”

Chapter 3

A difference had come between the two brothers. Bart remained the same wicked sinner, while Bert had received impressions which were not found in his brother’s heart. Bert looked for solitary places as much as possible, and what he experienced there, he can communicate better to you than I can; also the way through which it pleased the Lord to lead him. Therefore, we will from now on let him speak himself, as we have received the words and facts from his own lips.

* * * *

The words of the woman, and the thoughts about death and eternity, caused such a restlessness in me that I had never known before. I could not say a word about this to any one, and if I would touch this subject when I met my brother, he answered me with curses and sharp reprimands. For this reason I went alone to the woods or the fields as much as was possible. I would sit down at such places and consider these things, of which I understood nothing. That there was a God, I did not dare to deny, in which conviction I was established when I considered that my companions, as well as myself, would call to God for help, and not to man, at all times when they were in distress and danger. But who and where He was, I did not know; and if He existed and ruled supreme, there was nothing but eternal woe before me.

Sometimes I would arise with a firm resolution to never sin again, but at other times my wicked nature gained the upperhand and I decided to let my heart rejoice in sin, because it was impossible for me to change things, no matter how I tried. With great shame I must say that I would often listen to this voice. However, since convictions filled my mind, this was always accompanied with fierce throb-bings of my conscience.

After some time the restlessness lessened somewhat through the dispersions and changes to which the life of a soldier is subject. The thought of God, however, often startled me as an aroused bird. Often, I succeeded at such times in quieting my unrest by the means of liquor.

If I call to mind these times, I do not know which I must admire the most:—the terrible wickedness of my existence, or the long-suffering of God towards such a miserable and damnable sinner as I

was. And surely, if the precipice of free grace was not deeper than the precipice of my misery, I certainly would have plunged down into the deepest part of hell long ago. I know there was no greater sinner, no greater lump of sin in the world than I was. But praised be the great mercy of God, Who justifies the ungodly.

For more than a year I lived in such a condition, when often it seemed that it would be better for me to be dead than to live. Is it a wonder that I often made plans to end my life by strangulation! The thought that there was a God, and that after death an eternity followed, always held me back from executing such an evil plan. There was, however, a pursuer, who I did not know then, who whispered continually in me: “Make an end of it; this is no life; dead is surely dead!”

I had been wondering why it was that I had no more desire in wickedness, and why I was so restless, I would sit down, think very deeply about it, but would only become as dazed in my head as a demented person.

Under all this, there was an Eye that looked upon me and watched me, although I did not know this, nor know Him Who did so. My dear Surety and Savior had bought me with the price of His blood, and although the devil had a temporary possession of me, I was, however, the possession of the Lord Jesus Christ, and He would on His time command the devil to let his prey go, to the end that I would be plucked as a brand out of the burning. This had been decreed from eternity, and this decree of the unchangeable God would be executed in time, that a triune God may be glorified.

It was on a beautiful spring morning in the month of April, that we left the barracks to make a long march. All of my mates were happy and cheerful . . . and I . . . I thought: Is there one, among these hundreds of soldiers, that is as unfortunate as I am?

We had marched on already for many hours, when we had to pass over a narrow dike. While I was absorbed in deep thoughts and walked steadily along the one side of the dike, I suddenly sprained my foot and tumbled down. There I laid, not being able to arise. I do not know if it happened willingly or knowingly—but there was not one that looked after me. No man had compassion on me. This was not necessary either, because there was one, Who is stronger and more compassionate than all people; He saw me while I laid there in the open field.

I could not possibly go on; my injured foot refused me its service, and I thought: All I can do is to lie down here and die, because there is not a human creature to be seen. For hours I laid at that place; my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth; my head was burning like fire; while the serious thought about death and eternity made my condition worse.

Finally, I saw a man standing on top of the dike, who spoke in a very friendly way to me. I told him about my condition as well as I could.

“But, my friend,” he said, “you cannot stay there upon the ground”; to which I replied, that I could not walk. He answered, “Wait! we will help you.”

Saying this, he disappeared, and after a few moments came back with his wife. Between both of them, I hobbled on until we got on the dike, and, what I had not noticed as we were marching, I now saw . . . a neat little house. Under much pain and fatigue I was led into the house, and what I have experienced in this quiet home, I shall never forget.

Chapter 4

Both of these people, the man and his wife, lived in this quiet home without children, and to me they seemed like a couple of angels. Yea, I thought in my foolishness, that they were sent from heaven for me, because I can not describe the love with which they treated me. If I had been their own child, they could not have given me better care.

The bruised leg was pitifully affected, and in addition, I was attacked with a severe fever. During all this, many things filled my heart. I had never enjoyed motherly care, much less motherly love and while I now experienced this I melted in tears and for the first time in my life I felt a return of love. I had never loved any one but myself, and it was now as if for the first time a tender, childish love awoke in me. Continually I asked how I could reward these people for all their love and care, and I could not explain what could be the reason that I, who was such a monster of wickedness, enjoyed so many benefits at that place.

The wonderful treatment which I received in the home of Simon Van Oort and his wife, Nellie, softened my heart to such a degree that I was firmly convinced that this God, Who cared for me so wonderfully, had no desire as yet in my death.

The first night which I spent in that home, in which such a comfortable bed was prepared for me, passed with severe terrors because I feared that I would be marked as a deserter and be condemned to death, and then suddenly have to appear before the Judge of heaven and earth.

Before these people would partake of any food the next morning, the man and his wife both kneeled, which made me think that they were Roman Catholic. When I noticed that they made no cross, my mind was changed, however. After this, the man entered into prayer. I had never heard that before, and when he also prayed for me and asked the Lord that my sickness might not be unto death, but would be the means of bringing me as a poor sinner at the feet of the Lord

Jesus . . . no, I could not restrain myself, and burst out in loud lamentations. The people were surprised, and Simon asked me, “What is the matter with you?”

To this, I replied that I could not pray myself; that no one had ever prayed for me; that I was such a wicked creature, and that this would make my judgment heavier.

Simon did not answer to this, but said, “We will read the Word of God.”

He then proceeded to read, and I listened attentively. It was Proverbs 8, and I ate the words as if they were food. When he came to the end of the chapter and read the words: “For whoso findeth Me findeth life, and shall obtain favor of the Lord . . . all they that hate Me love death,” I asked him who it was that spoke these words and if I also would be able to find Him. Then the friendly man said, his face beaming with heavenly joy, “That is the amiable Lord Jesus, Who has been sent by the Father to seek and to save that which is lost!”

These words sounded like heavenly music in my ears, and yet I did not know what they meant. I then asked him what that all meant, and said, “I know that I am lost, but Who the Father and Who the Lord Jesus is, I do not know.”

Simon replied, “Well, my boy! We hope to speak about that later; my work calls me now, and he that does not work, shall not eat.”

While the man performed his work outside and the woman was engaged with her housework, I laid in quiet meditations. When she came near to my bed, I asked her who the Father was. She said, “The Father is God.” And to my question as to who the Lord Jesus was, she answered, “He is the true God and the eternal life.” Then said I: “Are there two Gods then?” “No, my child!” she replied, “There is only one God.”

I could not understand anything of this, but this I knew, that I was lost and that there was no hope of salvation for me.

When Simon returned from his work and evening had come, he came and sat down at my bedside and began to teach me out of the Scriptures in an intelligible way; and looking back, I may say this, that the Holy Ghost blessed this instruction. Simon was, for me, the Philip to whom the Holy Ghost said: “Go near, and join thyself to this chariot.”

I was given to see that I was lost and a child of the devil in Adam; that I had to do with a righteous God Who could not depart from His justice, and that I had deserved temporal and eternal penalties. But, O eternal wonder! I also was given to see that there was yet a way in which I could escape these penalties and be again received into favor.

More than six weeks had passed. Every evening of that time, Simon had instructed me in the blessed truths of the Bible and had already spoken to me many times about the Lord Jesus. Then one time, in a way I cannot express in any other words, there fell a ray of light in my heart and upon the Lord Jesus, so that I could behold Him as the Mediator and the atoning Surety. I could not be silent now; I was so anxious to know more about Him. My instructor spoke of Him with so much love, his eyes shone as if they were the eyes of a dove; and I became so jealous that I cried: “Oh, that I could find Him!”

The night put an end to our conversation, but I remained watching, while I raised my hands on high continually, as if I should find Him in such a way. I saw so much desirableness in Him that I would have given my life to possess Him.

When I would think about the future, that I would have to leave these beloved people and probably be treated as a deserter, I perspired of terror. “But, if I may only have Jesus as my portion,” I thought, “it would all be good to me even if I had to die by a bullet.” But I missed Him, and did not know if I would ever find Him.

Although I was not aware of it, the dear Savior, however, had taken me for His account, and the waves and billows that would go over my head would all be turned to my advantage by Him.

Through the motherly care of Mrs. Van Oort, I was soon recovered and able to use my foot again as before. Although it was very distressing for me, I had to make preparations to leave the good place and turn back to my regiment.—(To be continued)