by J. C. Philpot
But some will say, “Oh that I had a clear evidence I was walking in this path! What would I not give to have a divine testimony that the blessed Spirit was leading me in it!” It is through these very doubts that the evidence is obtained. Doubts lead to cries and groans after a divine testimony; and in answer to these cries the heavenly witness is given. A man without doubts is without testimonies. Doubts are to testimonies what the mortise is to the tenon, the lock to the key, the enigma to the solution. Testimonies on Ebenezers, “stones of help” (I Sam. vii 12, marg.); but the stone must have a hole dug for it to stand in, and that hole is doubt. Doubts of salvation are to manifestations of salvation what hunger is to food, nakedness to clothing and thunderstorm to a shelter, a gallows to reprieve, and death to a resurrection. The one of these things precedes, prepares and opens the way for the other. The first is nothing without the last, nor the last without the first. Thus, next to testimonies, the best thing is spiritual doubts. To know that we are right is the best thing, to fear we are wrong is the second best.
To enjoy the witness of the Spirit is the most blessed thing this side of the grave; to part after that enjoyment is the next greatest blessing.
I am speaking, mind, only of spiritual doubts; that is doubts in a spiritual man, for natural doubts are as far from salvation as natural hopes.
The path through the valley of Baca is “from strength to strength”; that is, according to the eastern mode of travelling, from one halting place to another, where wells are dug, and “the rain filleth the pools”.
We do not learn either God or ourselves, sin or salvation, in a day.
The question is, Have we set one step in the way?
“Watchman, what of the night?” Is it even, midnight, cock-growing or morning? Is it spring, summer, winter or harvest?
The question is not so much whether you have much faith, but whether you have any.
It is not quantity, but quality; not whether you have a very great religion, but whether you have any at all.
A grain of true faith will save the soul; and I have known many many seasons when I should be glad to feel certain that I had a thousandth part of a grain.