Period IV — From May 1742 to February 1743 (continued from page 77)
I thought that my warfare was now in a great measure accomplished, and that my sins had got their deadly wound, so that I might take some rest, and did not need to be always watching, seeing that the enemy, to all appearances, was dead. But, to my great surprise and confusion, found the sins which did formerly so easily beset me reviving again, and threatening to break forth into action. This put my soul into a terrible disorder, when I thought that a jealous God was looking into my heart and seeing how I was there embracing and loving idols.
I then began to chide myself, saying that I was beginning to turn the grace of God into wantonness; yet; I abhorred such thoughts, and notwithstanding the present sudden temptation, I found, through grace, that I was inclined much because much was forgiven me. I met with some who blasphemously said, that if all was owing to grace they might live as they pleased; but for ever blessed be the name of the Lord who taught me otherwise, and to find, by sweet experience, that nothing was so effectual to break my hard heart as faith’s views of a wounded Jesus for my sins.
I went with my sad plague to the great Physician, and cried, “O wretched man that I am, who will deliver me from this body of sin and death?” My sin had taken such a hold of me that I was not able to look up. Several passages of Scripture occurred to me, and that in 1 John 2:1, came with great sweetness. The Lord gave me great views of Christ as an advocate, which afforded meditation for several days.
First, I saw that an advocate of the session was an eloquent and able-speaking man
Who could plead his cause before the lords, and was commonly employed by such as could not plead for themselves. Then I viewed the Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious advocate for sinners, as having the tongue of the learned, and knowing how to speak a word in season to the weary soul, so that all who heard Him bare witness, and wondered at the gracious words which proceeded out of His mouth; for when He spoke, it was not as those advocates do, for He “taught as one having authority, and not as the scribes” (Matthew 7:29).
Secondly, I saw that if I, who was ignorant of law, should come before the lords of session to plead my own cause, they would not hear me, as being ignorant of law terms and other forms.
But if I retained an advocate, I saw that he would sympathise with my weakness and converse with me in private about my cause, so that when he came before the lords my defects would not be known, being represented by my advocate, who appeared in their presence as it were in my person. Then I saw if I came before God Almighty, who is of purer eyes than to behold the least iniquity, that He could not hear me by reason of His holiness; and that, should he grant me a hearing, my own mouth would condemn me. Then I saw the glorious advocate the Lord Jesus Christ, that blessed daysman, who lays His hands on both parties, “appearing in the presence of God for me” (Hebrews 9:24), there to represent me and plead my cause; and that He could sympathise with my infirmities. O the views which were given me of an incarnate God! O with what boldness may I draw near to God in the person of Christ! Glory to God for this “new and living way which He hath consecrated for us, that is to say His flesh.” I saw this to be the only way to the Father; and that it was by my union to Christ, having taken on Him my nature, that I could call God my Father. “The fulness of the Godhead dwells in Him bodily.” How joyful it is to think on a God in my nature! how wonderful is that union of both natures in Christ! Faith’s views of this are clear, when the light of nature is dark as a dungeon.
Thirdly, I saw that these advocates of the session sometimes saved the lives of the criminals who employed them, and brought them off by quirks and wrestling the law; at other times that they could not by any means do them service; and often kept poor creatures for a long time in great suspense.
But I saw the incomparable prerogative of this glorious Advocate of sinners to be, that He saved His clients or criminals not sometimes, but at all times, and that to the great honour of both law and justice, having fulfilled and obeyed the law in all its precepts by His holy birth and righteous life; and also satisfied divine justice by His meritorious death and sufferings; and, therefore, that Christ is not only an intercessor to plead for mercy, but an advocate to plead the law, the Lord being well pleased for His righteousness’ sake, etc.
I saw, that when a poor law-condemned person came to retain this adorable Advocate, that He did not keep their minds in suspense as other advocates do; no, let their case be never so desperate-like and hopeless, yet, if this Advocate be employed, and the matter put into His hands, there is no fear of it, for He has given them His word, and also His oath which is truth, that they may comfort themselves in believing that they shall be more than conquerors through His intercession (Hebrews 5:17, 18).
Lastly. — I saw that when a countryman, altogether unlearned, came to employ an advocate, he would understand the man’s meaning although he was confused and could not set his language in a proper order, therefore that he would add to, or take from it as he thought proper, because he knew best what should be in such a petition.
So I likewise saw that when I came to employ this matchless Advocate, or rather when He made me employ Him and tell Him my cause (although He very well knew it before), He would understand my stammering speech, and pick out the meaning of my prayers, though I could not set my words in a right order before Him; and I saw that it was my wisdom to despair of my petitions, as they came from myself, but to look on them as being heard when represented by my Advocate. I observed, that if any came who were rich and offered money, viz., their own righteousness, they were rejected, for this Advocate has an immense treasure — His complete righteousness, and therefore capable of no addition; and that He delighted to enrich the poor without any recompense to be given, except that of gratitude and praise, therefore I saw that it was my glory and happiness to be drowned in the debt of free grace to all eternity. These thoughts were sweeter to me than honey or the honey-comb. “Who shall lay anything to the charge of God’s elect?” etc. (Romans 8:33, 34).
I have often endeavoured to express in words the rest which my soul findeth in Christ, and the inward acts of the soul closing with Him, but could never find words adequate for such purpose. Sometimes when conversing with Christians I would wish to unfold my thoughts about this inward exercise, but could not; only they understood what I would fain speak, and I understood what they wanted to discover. I find, however, “Guthrie’s Trial of a Saving Interest in Christ” comes the nearest in expressing my thoughts on this subject of any I ever saw. He says, page 48, that “there is somewhat common to all gracious persons which may be supposed by all the forementioned actions of faith, wherein the nature and essence of justifying faith consist, and that is, the heart being satisfied anent God’s device of salvation by Christ in whom all fulness doth now dwell by the Father’s pleasure; and that when the heart and soul of man acquiesce in that, then he believeth unto salvation. As at first the Lord made man suitable to the covenant of works by creating him perfect, and so putting himself in a capacity to perform His will in that covenant: Now under the new covenant, when God giveth the new heart to a man, He setteth the seal and stamp of all His device in the covenant upon the man so as there is a consistency of God’s will there. Thus he beareth the image of the second Adam, Christ Jesus. Faith is the very shaping out of a man’s heart according to God’s device of salvation; so let Christ turn which way He will, faith ariseth and pointeth that way. ‘He that believeth that Jesus is the Christ, is born of God.'” I shall now add something more about this rest which my soul has found upon closing with Christ.
It is a believing that Christ and all His fulness are really exhibited unto me in the new covenant, and that all the promises are yea and amen in Him, which causes a patient and sweet rest, in waiting the accomplishment of the promise in God’s own time. The soul beholds a wonderful beauty and excellency in Christ and His undertaking; God and the soul become of one mind in Christ; God says, “this is my well-beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased;” and my soul says, this is my beloved Saviour, in whom I am well pleased. I appeal unto God, that these are my thoughts of the eternal Son of His love. When I meditate on the Lord Jesus Christ in the covenant relation to me, as He is held forth in the Scriptures of truth, such as wisdom, righteousness, sanctification and redemption, or prophet, priest, and king, husband and brother, etc.; and consider my own need of Him in all these offices, and their suitableness to my case as a lost and perishing sinner, I am constrained to say with the spouse, “because of the savour of thy good ointments, thy name is as ointment poured forth, therefore doth my soul love thee.” there is nothing wanting in Him; He is all my salvation and all my desire.
There is a rest which none knoweth, saving they who are entered into it by faith; for we who have believed do enter into rest. “To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the hidden manna,” etc. (Rev. 2:17). “The heart knoweth its own bitterness; and a stranger doth not intermeddle with its joy” (Proverbs 14:10). These are some of my thoughts concerning this rest, yet I still find want of expressions to set it forth; so all that I can say about it is this, namely, that it is the soul’s coming entirely out of self, and leaping, as it were, into Christ, and there finding a full rest. It is a union between the soul and Christ, just as a marriage that cannot be dissolved.