I think your experience is generally of the fearful, doubting cast. However, the Lord has given particular charge to his ministers to comfort such souls. He knows our infirmities, and what temptations mean; and, as a good Shepherd, He expresses a special care and tenderness for the weak of the flock (Is 40:11). But how must I attempt your comfort? Surely not by strengthening a mistake to which we are all too liable, by leading you to look into your own heart for (what you will never find there) something in yourself whereon to ground your hopes – if not wholly, yet at least in part. Rather let me endeavour to lead you out of yourself: let me invite you to look unto Jesus. Should we look for light in our own eyes, or in the sun?
Is it indwelling sin distresses you? Then I can tell you (though you know it) that Jesus died for sin and for sinners. I can tell you that His blood and righteousness are of infinite value; that His arm is almighty and His compassions infinite. Indeed, you yourself read His promises every day, and why should you doubt their being fulfilled? If you say that you do not question their truth or that they are accomplished to many but that you can hardly believe they belong to you, I would ask, What evidence would you require?
A voice or an angel from heaven you do not expect. Consider if many of the promises are not expressly directed to those to whom they belong. When you read your name on this letter, you did not scruple to open it. Why then do you hesitate to embrace the promises of the gospel, where you read that they are addressed to those who mourn, who hunger and thirst after righteousness, who are poor in spirit etc. You cannot but be conscious that a gracious God has begun to work these dispositions in your heart. If you say that, though you do at times mourn, hunger etc, you are afraid you do not do so enough, or not aright, consider that this sort of reasoning is very far from the spirit and language of the gospel, for it is grounded on a secret supposition: that, in the forgiveness of sin, God has respect to something more than the atonement and mediation of Jesus – to some previous good qualifications in a sinner’s heart, which are to share with the blood of Christ in the honour of salvation.
1Written to a Mrs H. Taken, with editing, from Newton’s Works, vol 2.
The enemy deceives us in this matter the more easily because a propensity to the covenant of works is part of our natural depravity. Depend upon it, you will never have a suitable and sufficient sense of the evil of sin and of your share in it so long as you have any sin remaining in you. We must see Jesus as He is, before our apprehensions of any spiritual truth will be complete. But if we know that we must perish without Christ and that He is able to save to the uttermost, we know enough to warrant us to cast our souls upon Him. And we dishonour Him by fearing that, when we do so, He will disappoint our hope.
But if you are still perplexed about the high points of election etc, I would advise you to leave the disposal of others to the great Judge and, as to yourself, I think I need not say much to persuade you that, if ever you are saved at all, it must be in a way of free and absolute grace. Leave disputes to others; wait upon the Lord, and He will teach you all things, in such a degree and time as He sees best. Perhaps you have suffered for taking things too much upon trust from men. Cease from man, whose breath is in his nostrils. One is your master, even Christ. Study the Bible and pray over it, and you may take it as a sure rule that whatever sentiment makes any part of the Word of God unwelcome to you is justly to be suspected. Aim at a cheerful spirit. The more you trust God, the better you will serve Him. While you indulge unbelief and suspicion, you weaken your own hands and discourage others. Be thankful for what He has shown you, and wait upon Him for more. You shall find He has not said in vain: “Seek ye my face”. I heartily commend you to His grace and care.