A further part of a longer version of a paper given at last year’s Theological Conference. Last month’s instalment saw Brainerd’s early months in his new missionary work among the Indians at the Forks of Delaware.
6. Seeking a Holy Dependence on God
At the beginning of October 1744, Brainerd set out from the Forks of Delaware, with another minister and three Indians, one of them his interpreter, to visit another Indian community, on the Susquehannah River. He found his journey particularly difficult and dangerous. At one point, his horse caught her leg on a rock and fell under Brainerd, who, in God’s kindness, was not hurt. But his horse’s leg was broken. He was obliged to put down his horse and to proceed on foot. He and his companions had to sleep in the open, but they lit a fire and used branches to erect a primitive shelter, to keep the frost from them. When they reached the Susquehannah River, they found a settlement with 12 Indian homes. Brainerd greeted the Chief and explained that he had come with a view to teaching them Christianity. After consulting among themselves, the Indians gathered together and Brainerd preached. After he finished he asked them if they would hear him again. In fact, they agreed to hear Brainerd again at once. He accepted their request; he had freedom in preaching both times. After the second sermon, they agreed to listen to him again the following day, a Saturday, which they did. On the Sabbath, the Indians had planned to go hunting, but Brainerd persuaded them to put their hunt off till the Monday. In spite of feeling extremely miserable, Brainerd preached that Sabbath “with some freedom and power” (p 135), but felt discouraged afterwards because of the objections the Indians made against Christianity.
On the Monday, Brainerd went to see the Indians, expecting them to leave early to go hunting. But, he tells us, “Beyond my expectation and hope, they desired to hear me preach again. I gladly complied with their request and afterwards endeavoured to answer their objections against Christianity (p 136). On the Tuesday morning, Brainerd and his companions set off early for home – which for Brainerd was now at the Forks of Delaware. Brainerd was clearly a very godly man; one expression of this can be seen in the desire expressed shortly afterwards: “I was afraid of nothing but sin, and afraid of that in every action and thought” (p 137). In late November, he lost his way in the darkness as he headed towards the Delaware River, wandering over hills and through swamps; he felt very cold and sick, and suffered from a severe headache. But about nine o’clock he came across a house, where he was kindly looked after. In the past, Brainerd comments, when he would meet difficult circumstances, he would have looked forward to better times in the future; now he would say to himself: “How much worse it might be; how much greater trials others of God’s children have endured, and how much greater are yet perhaps reserved for me!” (p 140). He was content with such things as he had, such things as God was pleased to give him.
A few days later, Brainerd “felt very poorly in body being much tired and worn out the last night”. Yet he believed he had God’s help in writing on a spiritual subject “but was so feeble and sore in my breast” that he felt it difficult to stick at his task. But his diary entry for that day expressed his weariness: “How I long for that world ‘where the weary are at rest’! And yet through the goodness of God I do not now feel impatient” (p 143).
After some more days, Brainerd went to the Indians but did not know what to say to them; he felt he had no power to speak to their consciences. The next day he was equally depressed and “longed for death exceedingly” (p 144). When he went to preach to the Indians, he felt at his wits’ end, despairing of doing them any good. He decided to speak about the miracles of Christ, as evidence of the truth of Christianity. He expounded several of the miracles and applied the truth to the Indians’ consciences. Weak as he was in his body, he applied to himself the words of Paul: “I can do all things through Christ that strengtheneth me”.
Shortly afterwards, on a weekday, Brainerd preached to the Indians for nearly an hour, but he felt no power accompanying what he said. At last he felt some earnestness, and soon most of the adults were moved to tears; one old man – perhaps 100 years old – was especially moved; he seemed convinced of the importance of what Brainerd taught.
In mid-January 1745 Brainerd spoke of bodily weakness and depression. He went on to give some light on his attitude to continuing in this world and to what lies beyond it: “I long to do so much in a little time and, if it might be the Lord’s will, to finish my work in this tiresome world. I am sure I do not desire to live for anything in this world; and through grace I am not afraid to look the king of terrors in the face.” Yet he confessed, “I know I shall be afraid if God leaves me, and therefore I think it always my duty to [prepare] for that solemn hour. But for a very considerable time past, my soul has rejoiced to think of death in its nearest approaches . . . If God do not enable me to maintain a holy dependence upon Him, death will easily be a terror to me. . . When I am in a sweet, resigned frame of soul, I am willing to tarry awhile in a world of sorrow. I am willing to be from home as long as God sees fit it should be so.” But when he felt otherwise, he was apt to be impatient to go. He exclaimed, “O when will the day appear that I shall be perfect in holiness and in the enjoyment of God!” (p 149).
In the middle of February, Brainerd spoke of being “much assisted in meditating on that precious text, John 7:37, ‘Jesus stood and cried . . . ’. I had then a sweet sense of the grace of the gospel; my soul was encouraged, warmed and quickened. My desires were drawn out after God in prayer; and my soul was watchful, afraid of losing so sweet a guest as I then entertained. I continued long in prayer and meditation, intermixing one with the other, and was unwilling to be diverted by anything at all from so sweet an exercise. I longed to proclaim the grace I then meditated upon, to the world of sinners” (p 153).
On the next Sabbath, Brainerd preached to the white people of the district, as he had no interpreter that day. He spoke on the verse he had so much enjoyed meditating on: John 7:37: “If any man thirst, let him come unto Me, and drink”. In the afternoon he had particular liberty in speaking; he noted, “I think I was scarce ever enabled to offer the free grace of God to perishing sinners with more freedom and plainness in my life. And afterwards I was enabled earnestly to invite the children of God to come renewedly and drink of this fountain of water of life. . . . I doubt not but that the Spirit of God was there, convincing poor sinners of their need of Christ” (pp 153-4).
The following Sabbath Brainerd was again without an interpreter, but he set off for the Indians in the hope of being able to conduct a service among them. And he “got a Dutchman to interpret for me, though he was but poorly qualified for the business”. Afterwards Brainerd preached to a few white people from John 6:67, “Then said Jesus unto the twelve . . . ”. Especially towards the end of his sermon, Brainerd “felt freedom to open [up] the love of Christ to His own dear disciples. When the rest of the world forsakes Him, and are forsaken by Him, [so] that He calls them no more, He then turns to His own, and says, ‘Will ye also go away?’ I had a sense of the free grace of Christ to His own people, in such seasons of general apostasy, and when they themselves in some measure backslide with the world. O the free grace of Christ, that He seasonably reminds His people of their danger of backsliding and invites them to persevere in their adherence to Himself. I saw that backsliding souls, who seemed to be about to go away with the world, might return – and welcome – to Him immediately without anything to recommend them, notwithstanding all their former backslidings. “And thus my discourse was suited to my own soul’s case: for, of late, I have found a great want of this sense and apprehension of divine grace; and have often been greatly distressed in my own soul, because I did not suitably apprehend this fountain to purge away sin; and to have been too much labouring for spiritual life, peace of conscience, and progressive holiness, in my own strength. But now God showed me, in some measure, the arm of all strength and the fountain of all grace” (p 154). This was one of the most extended comments he made on his preaching and his state of soul.